Meet the Undateables: Ned and Ilana

These lovelorn New Yorkers swear they’re absolutely undateable. We pair them up to see if they’re right.



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The date: Dinner at the Marshal (628 Tenth Ave at 46th St;

First impression
Ned: “I have a physical type that I like and she doesn’t fit that bill. I don’t want to sound shallow, but there has to be a physical attraction. She had a cute face on some levels.”
Ilana: “He got there first, so he was waiting at the bar. He’s definitely not my type. I generally go for taller and bigger guys. He’s like all the shorter Jewish men I grew up with.”

Ned: “She seemed reserved, but as the evening progressed she opened up, which was cool. I got the impression she’s a little sheltered, which she admitted.”
Ilana: “He was drinking fruity virgin drinks. I hate to sound judgy, but I don’t want a guy who drinks virgin mojitos. I barely want a guy who drinks regular mojitos. I’m a handful. He wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

The conversation
Ned: "It was certainly engaging conversation and she seems like a cool person. She was telling me a little bit about her relationship with her boss and how congenial it is and she’s lucky about that."
Ilana: "He said something about having issues with food. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have issues with food but I am not looking for a guy who is telling me on a first date. I just assume everyone does. It’s not the kind of thing I’d throw out on a first date. I kept my issues to myself."

Ned: “We were both walking in the same direction, so I asked whether she’d mind if I walked with her. She gave me a hug and I got her phone number.”
Ilana: “When I gave him my number, he called my phone and left a voice mail (while I was still standing there). I felt like he was my dad or something.”

In three words
Ned: Ilana is "friendly, quirky, generous."
Ilana: Ned is "intelligent, kind, warm."

Ned: “I’m not sure. I’d like to possibly go out again to see if there’s anything there, but I didn’t feel that spark. I think it’s best to remain open to possibilities.”
Ilana: “I wouldn’t say it was a bad date; it was just a no-connection date. He has personality quirks I don’t think I could deal with.”

Undateable? E-mail us at to get set up.

Users say

Michael H
Michael H

And it seems Ok to poke fun at the men on this site but nothing against the women. This double standard is why men don't really care about plight of woman but we pay lip service and pretend we care...if you're going to censor my jabs, atleast be fair and do it for both. Then we can say feminism is not about bashing men.

Michael H
Michael H

Ned needs to be arrested by the fashion police and be removed from dating scene asap.