20 kinkiest plays on and Off Broadway

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  • Photograph: Jeremy Daniel

    The Addams Family
    Kink: Speaking French
    Turn-on factor: Deux
    Peculiar patriarch Gomez (Roger Rees) gets all hot and bothered whenever his glamorously goth wife Morticia (Brooke Shields) speaks en franais. But since this is a big-budget family musical, he never makes it past first base.... onstage anyway. Quel merde!

    Read our review of The Addams Family

  • Photograph: Joan Marcus

    Anything Goes
    Kink: Gypsy lovin'
    Turn-on factor: Two
    Evangelist turned singer Reno Sweeney (Sutton Foster) thinks she's in control of her budding romance with veddy proper Brit Lord Evelyn Oakleigh (Adam Godley). However, it turns out that he's got a "little bit of Gypsy" in him, and pretty soon, in the song "You're the Top," she's the bottom, he's the top---metaphorically speaking of course.

    Read our review of Anything Goes

  • Chicago
    Kinks: Cheating, passion killing, jazz hands
    Turn-on factor: Ten
    Of all the musicals currently on Broadway, this is the one that'll quicken your pulse. This risqu show about adulterers, murderers and fame whores is filled with scantily clad dancers who make the Bob Fosse--inspired numbers look like orgies.

  • Photograph: Joan Marcus

    The Book of Mormon
    Kink: Frog fucking
    Turn-on factor: Zero---unless you've got some serious problems!
    Although this religious satire from the duo behind South Park is easily the most irreverent show on the Great White Way, it's rarely sexy. But we just couldn't leave poking a croaker off our list. Hey, it stops the Ugandans from shtupping babies in order to cure their AIDS. Don't get mad at us; we didn't write it.

    Read our review of The Book of Mormon

  • Photograph: Ari Mintz

    How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
    Kink: Womanizing
    Turn-on factor: Three
    Sleeping with your secretary was a long-standing tradition until women's lib came along. In this '60s-set tuner about climbing the corporate ladder, fed-up assistants admonish their Mad Men--esque bosses in "A Secretary Is Not a Toy" with cheeky puns like "her pad is to write in and not spend the night in," but their butts are still black-and-blue from pinches.

    Read our review of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

  • Photograph: Joan Marcus

    Memphis
    Kink:
    Interracial dating
    Turn-on factor:
    Five
    Forget all that crap about living in a postracial world. This turbulent romance about an interracial couple set against the backdrop of the '50s music scene has a kind of sexy taboo charm. Plus lead character Huey's "hockadoo!" catchphrase makes for a great climax exclamation.

    Read our review of Memphis

  • The Phantom of the Opera
    Kinks: Mask wearing, lovesickness
    Turn-on factor: One for dudes, eight for romance-novel-reading ladies
    The Main Stem's longest-running musical is tantamount to old-school chick porn: It's all about passion, not penetration. The masked title character runs around like Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut, whining and pining for his unrequited love. It's the show uninventive guys take dates to when they're looking to get lucky.

  • Photograph: Joan Marcus

    Priscilla Queen of the Desert
    Kink: Ping-Pong-ball-shooting vagina
    Turn-on factor: Eight
    Yes, the main characters are two drag queens and one transgendered woman. But really, they're all about as sexually active as '80s-era Morrissey. It's the feisty Asian bride who walks on the wild side when she puts on an impromptu pub performance starring her vagina, which launches many a white ball.

    Read our review of Priscilla Queen of the Desert

  • Photograph: Paul Kolnik

    Rock of Ages
    Kink: Having sex in public
    Turn-on factor: Nine
    The '80s hair-metal anthems in this hilarious jukebox musical aren't the only things Gen Xers get nostalgic about. Rockers of a certain age go all misty during the bar-bathroom sex scene, when a lecherous lead singer bangs one of his groupies---with her wanna-be boyfriend outside no less. Cock on!

    Read our review of Rock of Ages

  • Photograph: Dale May

    Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark
    Kink:
    Wearing spandex
    Turn-on factor:
    Three
    You've probably heard of furries. But did you know that there are folks who get aroused by comic-book superheroes? There's lots of sexy cosplay in this muddle of a musical about your friendly neighborhood web-slinger, who's played by multiple, super-in-shape acrobats. The subtitle may be "Turn Off the Dark," but to some fetish folks, it's a total turn on.

    Read our review of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark

  • Photograph: Alexander Wagner. Photographer's assistant: John Burke

    Venus in Fur
    Kink: Role-playing
    Turn-on factor: Ten
    There's a reason the stars of this steamy two-hander are currently on the cover of our Sex issue. David Ives's play about a very intense audition---which features role-playing, onstage costume changes and fetish-fueled submission---was inspired by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's 1870 novella about an S&M relationship. The casting couch has never looked so dirty.

    Read our interview with Venus in Fur stars Nina Arianda and Hugh Dancy

  • Avenue Q
    Kinks: Watching Internet porn, loud puppet sex
    Turn-on factor: Five, ten if you're a furry
    This Sesame Street--inspired coming-of-age musical comedy is mostly rated PG. But two scenes earn an NC-17: The showstopper "The Internet Is for Porn," with lyrics like "grab your dick and double-click," and a seriously raucous interspecies puppet bootie call. Hey kids, this show was brought to you today by the letter f!

  • Photograph: Carol Rosegg

    Naked Boys Singing
    Kink: Full-frontal nudity
    Turn-on factor: Nine
    Do we actually need to tell you anything beyond the title? There's a reason this musical revue about the beauty of the male physique has been going strong Off Broadway since 1998. And no, lovely as they are, it's not the songs; it's the schlongs.

  • Photograph: Caroline Voagen Nelson

    Rent
    Kinks: Gays in love, hot twentysomethings
    Turn-on factor: Six
    Homos and lezzies and drag queens, oh my! When Rent debuted Off Broadway back in 1996, none of those folks were out on prime-time TV---even Ellen DeGeneres was still in the closet. These days, the show's East Village bohemians seem more adorable than outrageous. But the current revival promises a never-ending parade of young performers with perfect bodies poured into vinyl, denim and sequins.

    Read our review of Rent

    Meet the new Rent cast

  • Fuerza Bruta: Look Up
    Kink: Getting wet... in white T-shirts
    Turn-on factor: Ten
    More like a rave than an Off Broadway show, this spectacle features insanely athletic acrobats running, jumping, screaming, dancing and partying among the audience while smoke billows and water rains down. At one point, braless ladies in wet white T-shirts appear above the crowd, pressing their visible breasts onto a Plexiglas ceiling. A rite of passage for college fratboys.

  • Blue Man Group
    Kink: Playing with food
    Turn-on factor: Two
    Three mute blue spacemen hit Earth to do stupid alien tricks, rock out on tubes, and amuse and confuse tourists. In one memorable bit of audience participation, the trio and a chosen theatergoer play with Twinkies, which are pretty phallic. After eating them, gelatinous goo spews from their chests. The whole thing looks like German porn.

  • Photograph: Yaniv Schulman

    Sleep No More
    Kink: You name it
    Turn-on factor: Nine
    Equal parts Macbeth, Hitchcock and haunted house, this immersive, environmental freak-out has something (voyeurism, nudity, S&M) for everyone---it all hinges on which rooms you wander into. Set in a creepy old hotel, the show gives audiences an experience that can terrify or titillate, depending on your predilections.

    Read our review of Sleep No More

  • Photograph: Gerry Goodstein

    Cymbeline
    Kink: Ogling
    Turn-on factor: Two
    Sleazy Iachimo sneaks into the bedroom of sweet and virtuous Imogen in a trunk, then emerges while she sleeps and checks her out. He also steals her bracelet, so he can convince her banished husband that she's been unfaithful. But this being Shakespeare, the action's all in the words: The play---not foreplay---is the thing.

    Read our review of Cymbeline

  • Coming soon: The Mountaintop
    Kink tease: Cheating
    Turn-on factor: TBD
    Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was undoubtedly a great man. But he was still a man and he loved many, many women. Set in a cheap hotel on the eve of his assassination, this two-person play features the martyr and a comely chambermaid. Will they lie down together or overcome?

  • Photograph: Nobby Clark

    Coming soon: Private Lives
    Kink tease: More cheating!
    Turn-on factor: TBD
    Any play starring Sex and the City's Kim Cattrall has got to be hot. And in this Nol Coward revival, she's engaging in some seriously convoluted adultery: She's cheating on her husband with her ex-husband! Samantha Jones never could get enough

Photograph: Jeremy Daniel

The Addams Family
Kink: Speaking French
Turn-on factor: Deux
Peculiar patriarch Gomez (Roger Rees) gets all hot and bothered whenever his glamorously goth wife Morticia (Brooke Shields) speaks en franais. But since this is a big-budget family musical, he never makes it past first base.... onstage anyway. Quel merde!

Read our review of The Addams Family

Users say

1 comments
Larry Day
Larry Day

In my opinion Sexy Brooke Shields is the most beautiful woman in the world. I have loved her ever since she was a Pretty Baby. She once threw me a rose when I was sitting in the front row of Chicago.