Barbara Cook to have memoir penned by noted chronicler of pornography

News comes to us today that New York Times second-stringer Charles Isherwood will be ghostwriting a memoir for Broadway living legend Barbara Cook. Good for him—maybe he can even parlay the experience into his very own version of Elaine Stritch at Liberty (which allowed The New Yorker's John Lahr to rack up a Broadway credit as as co--book writer). Does Isherwood have any experience writing biographies or memoirs? Why, yes he does: In 1996, his Wonder Bread and Ecstasy chronicled the life and death of porn star Joey Stefano. After the jump, we imagine what would happen if Charles got lazy and just decided to recycle his old files for the latest gig.

Original text:
Even his earliest, cheapest videos reveal a man whose combination of traditionally masculine good looks and languidly magnetic sexuality rivet the attention. His almost-hairless olive-skinned body wasn't gym sculpted; it had a tinge of feminine softness to it, amusingly at odds with the screaming-skull tattoo on his right shoulder that he had acquired before tattoos become de rigueur for gay men of his generation.

Quickie cut-and-paste job:
Even her earliest, cheapest musicals reveal a woman whose combination of traditionally feminine good looks and languidly magnetic sexuality rivet the attention. Her almost-hairless peach-skinned body wasn't gym sculpted; it had a tinge of masculine hardness to it, amusingly at odds with the Sondheim tattoo on her right shoulder that she had acquired before tattoos become de rigueur for leading ladies of her generation.