Boys of burlesque
TONY provides a sexy cheat sheet focusing on the best of the city's boylesque stars.
Mon Sep 27 2010
Years grinding: Ten
Signature sexy act: Straightjacket Striptease, "escaping from my clothes while strapped into a straightjacket—and then escaping from it."
Biggest tease: "Being nominated for a Golden Pasties award for best abs...at 40!"
Years grinding: 11
Signature sexy acts: Doctor Donut, "a mutant supervillain with a filthy, filthy mouth" and Bloodbeard the Pirate, "a swashbuckling scallywag whose hobbies include scrapbooking, decoupage and rape"
Biggest tease: "As cowboy Johnny Rooster, I cover my junk with a hat that has also been rubbed against Julie Atlas Muz's pussy, Darlinda Just Darlinda's pussy and Tigger!'s sweaty balls. Whenever I put that hat back on, the audience always recoils in horror."
The Evil Hate Monkey
Years grinding: Eight
Signature sexy acts: When working with frequent partner, Trixie Little, an acrobatic dance to "Total Eclipse of the Heart." When flying solo, "singing a song about my butt called 'Cheek to Cheek.'"
Biggest tease: Winning the title of 2010 King of Boylesque at the Burlesque Hall of Fame and "climbing things."
Years grinding: Less than a year (but two decades as a dancer/performance artist)
Signature sexy act: Not Over 'Till the Faux Lady Sings, "to the music of Tori Amos, I mingle with patrons, do naughty things with my horned Viking helmet and tease with operatic passion."
Biggest tease: "My mom finding out that I have nipple rings from reading a review in The New York Times."
Years grinding: One
Signature sexy act: Playing a ravenous schoolboy to Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher."
Biggest tease: "Getting pelted with smoke bombs during Europride in Warsaw, Poland, while wearing two-foot-long vinyl bunny ears. I survived."
Years grinding: Six
Signature sexy act: Vegas: "To the dulcet tones of Dean Martin, I remove my suit to find, then drink, the booze I concealed about my body."
Biggest tease: Running for actual mayor of New York in 2010 "and losing by a landslide."
Years grinding: Two
Signature sexy act: "Summertime," during which "I sit on a bale of hay with a church fan, eating KFC, corn on the cob, and biscuits and honey. I end by snacking on a slice of watermelon that was hidden somewhere.... It plays on every stereotype."
Biggest tease: When doing an erotic show "I noticed a shocked audience member, which made me turn up the heat...and then I realized I was getting a little excited!"
Years grinding: Four
Signature sexy acts: Monsieur Paco, "an 18th-century French fop in love with his country's history, culminating in a spring-loaded Eiffel Tower thong" or Grim Reaper, in which "I enter on stilts, 'kill' someone in the crowd, a factory whistle goes off, my shift ends and I strip to 'Just Got Paid'."
Biggest tease: Urinating on Tigger! in MAN: A Tease.
Pop (of the duo Gigi & Pop)
Years grinding: Eight
Signature sexy act: "The William Tell Overture" performed with "ukulele, upright bass, tambourine, toy horn, cap guns, whistling, tap dancing and a confetti cannon for the finale."
Biggest tease: "Selling our souls for corporate sponsors like Stoli, Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jgermeister."
Scotty the Blue Bunny
Years grinding: Ten plus
Signature sexy act: A dance to the classic Jimmy Durante hit "Inka Dinka Doo" with "a little balloon butt-busting thrown in for good measure."
Biggest tease: "Cutting myself out of an outfit with scissors so I could eat fire. Oh, and wearing a goddamn skintight Lycra bunny suit."
Years grinding: "Since before there was a burlesque scene"
Signature sexy acts: Father McTigger, Tawny the Tigress, Gender Surrender and Tigger Mortis—to name but a few.
Biggest tease: "Doing live sex shows. It's how I met my husband. He first saw me nude onstage, having sex with two other go-go boys, then followed me to the backroom. So romantic!"
The Eighth Annual New York Burlesque Festival (thenewyorkburlesquefestival.com) will take place at various venues Thu 30--Sun 3.