1 They love Elvis and candy bars.
The 51st annual German-American Steuben Parade of New York will feature five singing Elvises and two floats dedicated to American Col. Gail Halvorsen—the famed “Candy Bomber” who dropped chocolate bars on kiddies’ heads during the Berlin Airlift. FREE Fifth Ave from 63rd St to 86th St (914-439-7638, germanparadenyc.com). Sat 20 noon.
2 When a German takes you to “a sausage fest,” it doesn’t mean you won’t get laid.
Eat all the encased meat you can stomach at Central Park’s Oktoberfest, which boasts bands, brews and a ceremonial tapping of a Hofbrau keg. Enter at Fifth Ave and 72nd St (201-763-7285, germanparadenyc.com). Sat 20 1:30–7pm, $10.
3 Double-fisting is a folk tradition.
Practice ancestral Bavarian customs at Zum Schneider’s beer-garden party. Moesl Franzi and the Ja Ja Jas crank out the oompah, while DJ Volka Racho spins Oktoberfest hits (yes, they exist). FREE 107 Ave C at 7th St (212-598-1098, zumschneider.com). Sept 27 at 1pm.
4 They are tapped into their trippy subconscious.
Check out Austrian artist Alfred Kubin’s bizarro pen-and-ink drawings depicting giant rocking horses, cloaked figures and dying men. “Alfred Kubin: Drawings, 1897–1909”: Neue Galerie, 1048 Fifth Ave at 86th St (212-628-6200, neuegalerie.org). Sept 25–Jan 26, $10–$15.
5 They love baseball (but not as much as they love David Hasselhoff).
Say auf Wiedersehen to Shea Stadium with German Day Schuhplattler dancers, a 20-piece oompah band, German brews and more wursts than a Yankees dugout. Not to mention you can watch the Mets kick the Cubs’ behinds in one of the last Shea games ever. German Day: Shea Stadium, 123-01 Roosevelt Ave, Flushing, Queens (718-565-4348). Wed 24; gates 5:40pm, pre-game festivities 6:30pm, game 7:10pm; $20 (just be sure to mention Oktoberfest for the discounted tickets).