I am a... family guy / orgy enthusiast

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Since the end of my marriage, I’ve been living this double life as parent and pervert. I have three kids living with me half the time—they’re 8, 11 and 14 years old—and when they’re not here, I have an extraordinary sex life, which I blog about under the alias Jefferson at onelifetaketwo.com, so it’s quite public in a way. I’m bisexual and have lots of regular partners. I host mixed bi orgies and an all-male orgy. And I host the Bukkake Social Club, where groups of men watch me have sex with a woman and then shoot all over her. I also teach techniques at sex camp and various places.

As far as the kids know, I’m not seeing anyone. My ex-wife also has no idea, nor do my parents or a number of my straight friends. When I first started dating, I didn’t want anyone to be “Dad’s girlfriend”—the divorce was complicated enough, and I didn’t want to bring people into my kids’ lives who might not be there for a while. So the secrecy just naturally followed from that as my sex life became a bit more than just dating.

The mixed orgies include between 12 and 20 bi-friendly men and women. We sit around in the living room and drink and catch up for a while, and then people start undressing and heading back to the bedrooms. We all pile into the same bed and start going at it, then sometimes people want to do something with a smaller subset of the group and move into the other room. I have three double beds, one in my room and two in the room my kids sleep in. During orgies, we use all of them. It might sound crazy, but if you’ve ever checked into a hotel room, you don’t know what happened there the night before—the furniture is just the same even though it’s being used for an orgy one night and you’re watching TV on it the next. I also have dedicated sex sheets. They’re dark colors and low thread count, because I go through them like tissues—some of the women who participate are gushers.

So far there haven’t been any close calls. I take great care not to allow crossover from one life to the other. When the kids aren’t there, my apartment is full of sex toys, flogs, drawers of condoms. When the kids come, all that goes away and the Hello Kitty comes out. Of course, there are little things that spill around on the edges. You would not believe the panties that turn up in this apartment. I’ll be folding laundry with my daughter and find myself quickly trying to tuck away ladies’ underwear. I’m pretty convinced that the average child of a single parent is more aware of his parent’s sex life than my kids are.

When I’m involved in one life, I often miss the other—when the kids are here, I miss my social life and sex, and vice versa. A funny thing happened a couple years ago. My daughter said, “Dad, you’re so lonely.” I laughed—the one thing I’m not is lonely. She thought this because she only sees me by myself. So I made a point of introducing the kids to my friends. I think one day I’ll tell them. Will I show them the sex blog? I don’t know. I’ll have to see who they are when they grow up.

These days, I’m thoroughly two different people—myself and Jefferson. If I meet someone as Jeff—which happens at parties and while I’m teaching—I talk about my blog and my experiences. That would be inappropriate in my other life, though I often feel like people I meet in that realm would be totally into the Jefferson life, and I wonder how I can let them know about it without transgressing. I have kids and I throw orgies—that’s plenty unusual, I know. But when you get to know me, I’m just a person. Whatever seems unusual about that just kind of fades away.

Hey, by the way, throughout our conversation, I was fingering [my friend] Cody. I had to keep a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t disturb us.

As told to Michael Freidson, Allison Hope, Kate Lowenstein and Lauren Shopp

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