The amazing no-gym workout!

Get in shape just by doing what you normally do. In our thoroughly unscientific program, mix and match the below activities and if your score adds up to at least 15 points per week, you can skip the Stairmaster!

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EASY  |  MEDIUM  |  HARD  |  MINUS FOR...

Easy
1 TO 5 POINTS

1 POINT

Walk the subway platform
Furiously stride back and forth while you wait for the intolerably slow F train. You’ll burn about 30 or 40 calories and catch all three buskers on the platform. Every day, to and from work


1 POINT

Go bowling
Do this minus the booze and you can burn up to 200 calories an hour (not to mention beef up one shoulder and arm). Head to Bowlmor Lanes (110 University Pl between 12th and 13th Sts, 212- 255-8188) on a weekday between 11am and 5pm and have the lanes practically to yourself. Once

4 POINTS

Shovel snow
Buy a smaller shovel for less weight with more repetitions, or a wider model for more weight with fewer reps. Every time it snows


3 POINTS

Clean
Your apartment may be tiny, but if you apply yourself to vigorous tasks like scrubbing (hard—and fast! without stopping!) all the counters or floors, you’ll burn about 370 calories in an hour. Once

5 POINTS

Stand in the pit
The hot and sweaty pit at a fast-paced punk concert is a great way to burn fat. Moshing requires you to be alert and prepared to throw your weight around—and you can burn about 220 calories in 30 minutes. Tense all of your muscles and propel your weight forward at this week’s mosh-heavy Life of Agony concert on Thursday 10. Once

3 POINTS

Catch pigeons
Or try. It’s great plyometric exercise (swift movement that develops muscle power and speed). Twice

2 POINTS

Get a dog
Or, if that’s not an option, offer to walk your neighbor’s dog. Aim for a bigger breed that tugs on the leash and keeps you moving—it will work your triceps. You can volunteer to walk shelter pups at Animal Care & Control of NYC (326 E 110th St between First and Second Aves, 212-788-4000). Twice

4 POINTS

Speed-shop for groceries
Try to get in and out of the grocery store as quickly as possible. Since a bottle of wine weighs 2lbs 14oz, a carton of orange juice weighs 4lbs 8oz, and a bag of five apples weighs around 2lbs 6oz, carrying your groceries home will tone your arms, back and shoulders. Once

2 POINTS, 3 POINTS, 4 POINTS

Beat the crosstown bus
Try to walk five blocks faster than the glacially slow M23, which runs at an average speed of 4mph. If you’re feeling energetic, try beating the second-pokiest bus, the M34, which runs at about 4.3mph. Build up to a calorie-busting race against the M5 on a midweek evening, as it zips along at 7.6mph. Twice, 2, 3 and 4 points, respectively

5 POINTS

Go galleryhopping in Chelsea
The hike to Tenth Avenue from the subway is a workout in itself. And make sure to penetrate beyond the storefront spaces—Chelsea has floors and floors of art to see if you’ll just walk up those steep flights. Start with “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song” at the second-floor Von Lintel Gallery, and take it from there. Once

2 POINTS

Order diet drinks
As in rum and Diet Coke. You’re saving yourself up to 105 calories each time. Every time you drink

4 POINTS

Give piggyback rides
Once Jamie Agoglia, father of five, gives one of his children a ride, the other four are clamoring for one too. After he’s given all five of them rides, “they throw out that quintessential kid line,” he says. “‘Again daddy, againnn!’” If you don’t have kids of your own, go ahead and offer your back to all those nieces, nephews or, if you’re feeling strong, girlfriends and boyfriends. Do it for 30 minutes and you can plan to burn about 580 calories. Once a week

2 POINTS

Have sex
Try the position Kerry McCloskey, author of The Ultimate Sex Diet, likes to call “Let’s Get Crazy.” The woman lies on her back and puts her feet on the man’s shoulders. He uses his biceps to lift her toward him, and she uses her abs and leg muscles to push her pelvis upward. Or try the “Wheel Barrel,” in which the smaller partner gets into a pushup position and the larger partner holds his or her legs up.

4 POINTS

Help a friend move
10 pointsHave races carrying boxes from the apartment to the truck.

1 POINTS

Hula-Hoop
There’s just one word for this…fun. Hooping works your abs, teaches you to control your body and provides a good story. No special attire is required, and the hoops are provided. Try it with a GrooveHoops instructor at 8pm on Monday nights at the 14th Street Y (344 E 14th St between First and Second Aves, 212-780-0800). Classes are $12.





YOUR SCORE

If by the end of the week your tally adds up to...


ZERO OR LOWER: You’re insulting us and yourself. Why did you buy this magazine, for the hot chick on the cover?

1–10: Way to go, champ! Now quit chasing pigeons and move on to the Hard column.

10–20: See how easy it is?

21–152: Wow. Aren’t you on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Because you are a machine.

EASY  |  MEDIUM  |  HARD  |  MINUS FOR...

MEDIUM
6 TO 10 POINTS

8 POINTS

Move to a walk-up—or pretend you did
The steep flights of a walk-up will work wonders for your ass. You’ll burn about ten calories per minute of climbing, and the rent will probably be cheaper. Every time you come or go

6 POINTS

Volunteer
Bang out two resolutions in one. On January 28, be a part of Hope 2008. Volunteers will canvass public areas to count the number of people living on the streets. For more information, send an e-mail to hope@dhs.nyc.gov or call 800-994-6494. Or try God’s Love We Deliver, an organization whose volunteers prepare and deliver 1,500 meals in an incredibly fast-paced two hours. To become a meal distributor, call 212-294-8158 or e-mail volunteer@glwd.org. Once

8 POINTS

Rearrange your furniture (alone)
Strengthen your legs, arms and core by moving your heaviest belongings around your pad. Certified athletic trainer Erica Zimmerman advises you to remember the old warning: “Lift using your legs. Don’t just bend over and pick something up using upper-body strength alone.” She also suggests “contracting your abdominal muscles to stabilize your back and minimize strain on the spine.” To liven things up, use a chair to do two sets of 15 triceps dips while you decide where to move that bookshelf. Once

9 POINTS

Get off the subway one stop earlier
Yeah, that’s right. Three times

7 POINTS

Dance for an hour straight
JC Scruggs of Studio B (259 Banker St between Calyer St and Meserole Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn; 718-389-1880) suggests heading to the club for the Kleavage Tour on Friday 11, and the Chromeo after-party with A-Trak and Steve Aoki on January 26 for the kind of crazy, late-night dance party that will get your heart pumping. Once

6 POINTS

Play Ping-Pong
Make a night of it at Fat Cat Billiards (75 Christopher St between Seventh Ave South and Bleecker St, 212-675-6056), where tables cost $5–$6 per hour per player (that’s about 280 calories burned). Play some rounds of foosball in between to work your forearms. Once


10 POINTS

Bike
Get a cardiovascular workout and do your part to lower carbon emissions. Pick one up at the MHC Flea Market (Ave A at 11th St), open on weekends year-round from 8am to 6pm. With bike prices starting at $60, you can use the money you save on MetroCards to buy a basket and a heavy-duty lock. Or blow it on a breathable M Hustle Jacket ($358) from the North Face (2101 Broadway at 73rd St, 212-362- 1000). Every day

6 POINTS

Ice skate
Give the Kate Wollman Rink in Prospect Park a shot (located near the Parkside Avenue– Ocean Avenue entrance)—and burn about 380 calories per hour. Admission is $5 for adults and $3 for kids. It’s open for ice skating from late November through March. For a bigger commitment (and higher intensity), join a coed adult team or skills clinic like the Brooklyn Blades (718-595-2808, clinics@brooklynblades.org). Once

9 POINTS

Cut across Central Park
...at random, unmarked spots. You’ll end up having to improvise and cross some hilly, uneven terrain. To improve your workout, sprint if a park ranger catches you in a newly seeded area. Once

9 POINTS

Wear “Walk-ilates” shoes
Pick up a pair of curved platform sneakers called “Masai Barefoot Technology physiological footwear,” recommended by Brooklyn’s Ellie Herman Studios. The futuristic sneaks tone hamstrings, hips and glutes, and every purchase comes with one free “Walk-ilates” class that teaches you how to “maximize your MBT experience.” For more info, go to ellie.net. Every day

9 POINTS

Belly dance
Forget the gym-sponsored classes and hit the real deal. Midsections start undulating at 10pm most nights at Moroccan bar Le Souk. Keep it going til the place closes at 4am, and you’ll have burned off more than one plate of hummus and pita (47 Ave B between 3rd and 4th Sts, 212-777-5454). Once a month





YOUR SCORE

If by the end of the week your tally adds up to...


ZERO OR LOWER: You’re insulting us and yourself. Why did you buy this magazine, for the hot chick on the cover?

1–10: Way to go, champ! Now quit chasing pigeons and move on to the Hard column.

10–20: See how easy it is?

21–152: Wow. Aren’t you on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Because you are a machine.

EASY  |  MEDIUM  |  HARD  |  MINUS FOR...

HARD
11 TO 15 POINTS


12 POINTS

Skateboard
For a smooth, graceful ride, try a longboard (available at Blades Board & Skate, 156 W 72nd St between Columbus and Amsterdam Aves, 212-787- 3911). If you’re not up for skateboarding, try an Indo Board (indoboard.com), which utilizes a deck and a roller to improve balance and strengthen core muscles. It’s also a great way to train for the summer surf season at Rockaway Beach. Twice

11 POINTS

Climb a wall
You don’t have to hit Chelsea Piers’ “biggest in the Northeast” to try one. Scale the climbing wall at Central Park’s North Meadow Recreation Center, located midpark at 97th Street. For info, call 212-348-4867. Twice

11 POINTS

Climb a tree
If you’re over the age of ten, people will think you’re insane. Just tell them you’re training for the New York State Arborists Tree Climbing Championship in June. Once

15 POINTS

Become a bike messenger
Joey Krillz of Impact Couriers explains, “I eat about five or six thousand calories a day that I just burn off on the bike. When I started working every day in the street, I was about 140 pounds, but I quickly gained 30 pounds of muscle.” Every day

13 POINTS

Snowboard
Snowboarding utilizes every muscle in your body. At flat spots, you’ll have to unbuckle and hike. At downhill spots, you’ll use your core to maintain balance. Day trips to Windham, Hunter and Mountain Creek run from NYC almost every weekend throughout the winter, starting at $37. Just don’t forget to set your alarm: Trips leave around the time you would normally get home from a night out clubbing. Check out packages and ticketing info at nycski.com. Then gear up at Burton (106 Spring St at Mercer St, 212-966-8068).

12 POINTS

Learn self-defense
Try the Russian martial art, Systema, and learn practical self-protection strategies while getting a super all-around workout. Learn Systema or other martial arts like Muay Thai kickboxing or Brazilian jujitsu jujitsu at Chelsea studio Fighthouse (122 W 27th St between Sixth and Seventh Aves, second floor, 212-807-9202).

14 POINTS

Play basketball
…in the cage on West 4th Street and Sixth Avenue. You know the one.





YOUR SCORE

If by the end of the week your tally adds up to...


ZERO OR LOWER: You’re insulting us and yourself. Why did you buy this magazine, for the hot chick on the cover?

1–10: Way to go, champ! Now quit chasing pigeons and move on to the Hard column.

10–20: See how easy it is?

21–152: Wow. Aren’t you on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Because you are a machine.

EASY  |  MEDIUM  |  HARD  |  MINUS FOR...

MINUS FOR...


-10 POINTS Too much sugar
For every five-shot Venti hazelnut white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel— or some such drink.

-8 POINTS Not walking
You hail a cab. To go seven blocks.

-1 POINTS Eating crap out of the vending machine
You’re at work and, in a moment of weakness, go for the Dipsy Doodles instead of the trail mix.

-10 POINTS Worse than that
You nibble several dozen irresistibly orange cheese cubes at a fund-raising party.

0 POINTS Too much TV
You skip the gym to watch a Tila Tequila marathon. Followed by I Love New York. Followed by My Super Sweet 16. It’s okay. You’re allowed.

-7 POINTS Way too much TV
More than once a week.

-14 POINTS Inhaling
You indulge in a few “recreational” smokes, both legal and otherwise.

-10 POINTS, -15 POINTS, -20 POINTS Overeating
You’re on a diet and allow yourself a “cheat” day four days a week: -15 points. Or you order a pizza and eat that extra slice—the one your body tells you you don’t need: -10. Or this summer: Shake Shack. More than twice a month: -20.

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