The borough standings

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1.

THE BRONX

This week The borough standings

Last week 5

The reason Bronx Assemblyman Michael Benjamin is drafting legislation that would make the cupcake the official children’s snack of New York. His wife says the bill is ludicrous and encourages childhood obesity. Bronx native Fat Joe rejoices.

2.

STATEN ISLAND

This week The borough standings

Last week 4

The reason Stephen Molinaro, the grandson of SI Borough President James Molinaro, was found guilty of attempting to intimidate a paperboy he’d previously assaulted. The verdict could still potentially be overturned. Hello grandmother, hello grandfather.

3.

QUEENS

This week The borough standings

Last week 3

The reason Omesh Hiraman, an allegedly schizophrenic student at St. John’s University, ran around the campus packing a .50-caliber rifle. The gunman wore a mask; reports vary on whether it was of George Bush or Fred Flintstone. Like there’s a difference...

4.

MANHATTAN

This week The borough standings

Last week 2

The reason Is NYU trying to set a world record? Another of its students, 18-year-old Allan Oakley Hunter III, jumped to his death after a spat with his high school sweetheart. His suicide note gave a shout-out to Kurt Cobain.

5.

BROOKLYN

This week The borough standings

Last week 1

The reason A spate of swastikas and anti-Semitic scrawlings (e.g., all jews die) were found on the sides of two synagogues, plus on other buildings and cars throughout Brooklyn Heights. An area rabbi blamed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

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