The borough standings-2007 in review

We’re at the end of the line, folks. This year-in-review BS is written by striking Saturday Night Live writer Bryan Tucker. Check back next week for Tucker’s ’08 borough predictions!

1Brooklyn
Reason: Big renovations happened this year: hotels in Brooklyn Heights, luxury apartments in Fort Greene and a new stadium in Atlantic Yards. Even Coney Island agreed to a makeover, and promises 20 percent fewer lip piercings and carnival dudes who smell like Jack Daniel’s and Astroglide.

2 Manhattan
Reason: It was a year of yin and yang for Manhattanites. Yang: “Subway Hero” Wesley Autrey. Yin: Don Imus. Yang: the Broadway strike ends. Yin: a steam pipe explodes. Yang: You live in the liveliest place in the world. Yin: Leona Helmsley’s dog has a bigger apartment than you.

3 Staten Island
Reason: Lots of cool stuff happened in NYC’s most-overlooked borough. Staten Islanders were terrorized by a ninja burglar for Christ’s sake! But did you notice? Nope. You still only know Staten Island as an adjective that comes before the word ferry.

4 The Bronx
Reason: It was an up-and-down year for the Bronx: The Yankees flamed out in the play-offs, but Grandmaster Flash was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The lesson: Never sign A-Rod to be a member of the Furious Five.

5 Queens
Reason: Poor Queens had a terrible year. Foreclosures rose 126 percent, feral cats overtook JFK Airport and a mugger was caught on tape beating an 101-year-old woman. Even worse: That woman had already been dead for two years.