Tripper Simmons, 28

Spring St between Mulberry and Mott Sts

Tripper Simmons
Tripper Simmons

Photograph Jay Muhlin

Sounds like I'm interrupting a raunchy conversation. [Laughs] Yeah, I was just telling my friend P.J. about a swing party I went to when I was 23.

Lucky P.J. So let's start from scratch. Who are you? Well, to tell you the truth, I feel like damaged goods these days. I've just been through so much shit with so many girls, and...

You can't keep a woman? Yeah. When I was younger, girls wanted to be in love. Now I want that, but every girl I meet does not. Do I need to start dating 30-year-olds?

Are 30-year-olds scary? I mean, would a 30-year-old even take me seriously? I work at a restaurant, I'm in debt...I need someone who's good with money so I can just hand it over to her. [Laughs]

Where do you work? Hard Rock Cafe. I'm also a poet, by the way. I have a psych background.

Do you use it? Oh yeah. I'm a big fan of Carl Jung. He talks about how whenever there are things in your mind that disturb you, they won't go away just because you don't think about them. They go into your unconscious and affect you in ways that you can't control. It's the basis for irrational fears. The idea is that when something bothers you, keep it in the forefront of your mind till you can get over it.

Is that why dating issues were the first thing you mentioned when I asked you about yourself? Huh. Maybe! I don't know. To be honest, I'm not scared of anything

More from Tripper

"One of the things I say a lot to people is: 'There's nothing I wouldn't understand.' My life has been so crazy and fantastical, I've just seen it all."

"I think everyone has a sixth sense. Mine is empathy. I really feel what other people are feeling. In most cases it's a curse, because if someone's down, it brings me down too."

Tripper says: "My real full name you can't publish. It's my dad's—I'm the third. There's senior, junior, and Tripper. But I hate the actual name: My father ran out on my mom when I was a baby. I can't imagine doing that. So I don't like people calling me by his name. I think he's a coward."

Wanna meet Tripper? E-mail him at

—Kate Lowenstein