While asking a ghost for help: Sister, you may be dead, but I need my numbers.

While watching CNN: The US presidential election is more painful than American Idol.

In the office: You have a big penis, don’t you? I keep seeing it all the time. WHAT? It’s your pants. They’re really tight.
Three days later: It’s bulging again!

On the MRT: What a shame. If she lifted her feet, she’d be a lot prettier.

Uncle at the petrol station, holding the petrol gun to the car: Your hole never open, how I go in?

At a party: I remember throwing up to this song. You throw up to everything.

At the office: Can we keep her around just for her ass?