At Dhoby Ghaut: It was like a lemon breast in my mouth or some sh*t.

At Adam Food Centre: I’ve never seen a woman leave her dumplings so quickly.

While reading the newspaper: He does kind of have a round, penis-like head.

About American Idol runner-up David Archuleta: I just want to pinch him all over and ask, why are you so cute?

At a Haji Lane store: This T-shirt makes me look like a lesbian.

At China One: My ass has the hiccups.