On how to survive an all female family
I have five daughters and a wife; that’s why I take the night shifts.

On overzealous ways to hail a cab
Wah, you like Bionic Woman! You must shield the taxi with your body.

On taking a holiday on Australia’s Gold Coast
The travel agent should tell everyone to take a plastic bag with them; there were hardly any public toilets.

On why a computer mouse is definitely female
Because it uses a mouse pad.