Although the ‘I had such a terrible childhood’ genre is oversaturated and notable chiefly for covers featuring black-and-white portraits of small children, Shalom Auslander’s memoir is so exceptional, it deserves to be considered outside this category. 

Brought up in a strict Orthodox Jewish family, the young Auslander was repeatedly told of a God who could destroy the world, thwart the best-made plans, and punish anyone who broke a seemingly endless list of rules. For an impressionable boy, tempted by non-kosher hot dogs, pornography and pop music, this made for a lifetime of complexes and confusion. 

Indeed, Auslander goes from an earnest attempt at being the model son – trying to win his school’s ‘Blessing Bee’ – to regular shoplifting excursions and a trip to an Israeli reform school. Auslander’s early family life only exacerbated the worrying messages he was receiving from school and the wider community. His father’s unpredictable fits of anger, for example, are harrowingly described – though always with wit rather than self-pity. 

Even as an autonomous, atheistic adult, Auslander is in permanent dialogue with God, striking deals with Him, blaming Him for everyday hitches and begging Him not to hurt those he loves. As a father awaiting his child’s birth he is plagued by irrational anxieties, certain that God will choose now to seek revenge for all those disobeyed Commandments. The title refers to the tortuous decision he has to make about whether to have his baby son circumcised. 

Memorable moments include accounts of Auslander’s part-time job as a ‘watcher’ (keeping the dead company so they are never alone until burial); his self-devised ritual involving the accumulation and subsequent burning of pornographic magazines; and attempts to hide the fact he’s watching TV on Saturdays from his ultra-Orthodox neighbours. 

Though Foreskin’s Lament: A Memoir is sometimes depressing, it’s mostly just very, very funny. And there’s not a picture of a small child in sight.