When dating turns into a national campaign and the Government starts writing manuals (like When Boy Meets Girl: The Chemistry Guide), you know Singaporeans are not hooking up quickly enough. So what’s the best way to meet someone if you’re single and eligible? Jaclyn Tan susses out three different methods, from speed-dating to blind dates, and lives to tell the tale 

Call me idealistic, but I’ve never been a fan of intentionally seeking out that ‘special someone’. Social engineering seems so wrong. In fact, I cringed when my editors assigned me this story, saying it could be a good opportunity for me to meet somebody new. What could be more stressful than sitting in a room full of strangers all looking for The One (okay, maybe there are a few who turn up just for the buffet lunch)? ‘You never know,’ my deputy editor told me. Ugh. After some whining, I accepted the challenge of going under cover to figure out the hype (and stereotypes) behind dating services. How bad could it be? 

I started with Wow-Her.com, where I attended a speed-dating session held over lunch at a restaurant. About 30 people came, with two girls and two guys at each table; every 15 minutes the guys would move on to the next table. I felt like I was on a production line in a factory, but it certainly maximised the number of people I met in three hours. The first guy I sat with was a fortysomething IT professional who was polite, quiet and smiled – for the entire 15 minutes. ‘Hi, I’m Jaclyn,’ I offered after an initial ten seconds of silence. He introduced himself, then went quiet again. ‘So, what’s your job like?’ I asked patiently. ‘Oh, it’s good. I’m an IT guy,’ he replied, smiling. Awkward silence. I heaved a sigh of relief when the waitress came by to ask if we needed any drinks. Thankfully, the rest of the guys were easier to talk to, though introducing myself over and over was exhausting. By about the fourth round, I finally lamented to the three others at my table that I was really beat from staying up the night before playing Halo on my new Xbox. ‘Us, too!’ said the two guys – they were friends who attended the event together. We spent the next ten minutes raving about the video game, and while it was über-geeky, it was probably the most engaging conversation of the afternoon. 

But 15 guys were just too many to meet at once. That’s why The Dating Loft seemed like a better idea. The agency organises ‘house parties’ for groups of eight to 24 people, after which everyone fills out a card with the names of those they would like to go out with. The agency then pairs members who express mutual interest (no-go if it’s just one-way) for a one-on-one date. 

After an initial hour-long interview with the agency and a group dinner at TCC Boat Quay with more awkward silences, I was matched with Ray (not his real name), a 29-year-old engineer I remembered as being gentlemanly and outgoing enough to hold a decent conversation. We were set to meet for coffee at Menotti, an Italian café/bar. 

Luckily, talking to Ray was easy – we had some things in common, having graduated from the same university (he’s a few years my senior). We exchanged numbers after coffee, before leaving to meet our own friends for dinner. 

Now that one-on-one dates with strangers seemed less intimidating, I decided to try blind dates through Lunch Actually. As with The Dating Loft, I went through an interview, except this one was more in-depth (the entire process took nearly two hours) – understandably to facilitate a closer match, since the date is supposed to last at least an hour (imagine the potential disaster). 

My date was a 33-year-old manager from the oil trading industry who had just returned from Holland. Todd (again, not his real name) seemed like every Singaporean woman’s dream husband – he loves shopping (he quipped about factory outlets at the mention of Florence, Italy) and playing mahjong. But for me, it felt like our roles were reversed; like he was the girl on our date, especially when he took me to the pots and pans department of Takashimaya, saying he wanted to get something for his mother. I thought that was really sweet of him, but it reminded me too much of being dragged around as a kid by my mother on her kitchen shopping sprees. His lifestyle also seemed a tad too premium for me (he raved about the $14,500 TEMPUR beds in the homeware department). On the upside, Todd was really well-mannered, generous and easy to talk to. He also had an aura of calmness and stability that I could find attractive – in ten years’ time. 

For now, I’m taking it easy – I figure it’s best to meet someone when you’re not looking. In fact, I recently scored a date at a friend’s farewell party, after one of his pals dropped me an email (we exchanged name cards at the gathering), asking if I would like to go out with him. He was funny, charming, sincere and more. And I met him in the company of people I already knew and felt comfortable with, over champagne and snacks, sans awkward silences and matchmaking fees. 

Photo Lester Ledesma

The nuts and bolts

Wow-Her.com www.wow-her.com 
Cost: Subscription is free; events range from $20 to $72. 
Who you can expect to meet: Latetwentysomethings up to fortysomethings. Many come with friends; most are seeking a serious relationship (and possibly a ring). 
Try it because: You meet tons of people in a short amount of time. 

The Dating Loft 
www.thedatingloft.com 
Cost: Check with the agency 
Who you can expect to meet: PMEBs (professionals, managers, executives and businessmen), ages 26 to 40. Group dates are arranged according to your preferred age group. 
Try it because: The service offers pre-event grooming tips. It’s also less tiring than speeddating, and less pressure than blind dates. 

Lunch Actually 
www.lunchactually.com
Cost: Six-date package ($1,150); 13-date package ($1,350) 
Who you can expect to meet: PMEBs from mid-twenties to early forties; majority are degree holders and above 
Try it because: The agency helps you gather feedback from your date after each session and prepare for the next one. 

Sleeper pick: Datecraft 
datecraft.com, a friend site for ‘World of Warcraft’ addicts
Cost: Free 
Who you can expect to meet: Geeks, mostly 18- to 22-year-olds 
Try it because: There’s no pressure to commit.