Against all odds, ‘original’ boy band New Kids on the Block have popped out a new single, ‘Summertime’. We gave it a spin and decided that there’s nothing ironic or funny about it. Since we last heard from them, Jonathan has been enjoying a career in real-estate development while Donnie popped up in the Saw film franchise and award-winning TV series Band of Brothers. Hang tough, fans – at press time no reunion tour rumours could be confirmed, but it looks like the band is plotting ways to love you…forever. Scroll down to Love won't tear us apart to unearth more unholy (re)unions.

Come 21 June, prepare to shell out for some true blue DVD magic. The documentary All Together Now is an inside look at how the friendship between Gorgeous George Harrison and Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberté blossomed into the monumental Cirque du Soleil production Love, a stunning Vegas stage show incorporating the Beatles’ music.

Paula Abdul, notorious for televised gaffes and a rapidly declining mental state, will have to pull herself together if she wants to remain a credible judge on American Idol. Last month, in an incident dubbed ‘Paulagate’ by snide media outlets, she criticised two of contestant Jason Castro’s performances when Castro had only finished one song. Her compatriots Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell were visibly appalled by her mistake while Ryan Seacrest quipped, ‘You’re seeing the future, baby’ – a future that looks downright shaky.

Last month, John Mayer – known for his off-kilter sense of humour – blogged about a new personal project: his hair. Surely written under the influence of…something, he yearns to sport a feathered ’80s ’do as a ‘stirring and poignant statement’. Check on his progress at blog.honeyee.com/john.

British popsters Franz Ferdinand are resorting to gimmicky shock tactics to stay relevant. The Daily Star reports that they’ll be using human bones as a xylophone in their upcoming third album. Axeman Nick McCarthy claims it’ll add an ‘African infl uence’ to their percussion arrangements – which is just about as ignorant as it sounds.

In case you haven’t heard, Nokia launched its own online music store with ‘millions of songs’ in April. But hold up: tunes cost S$2 apiece and downloads are only supported by Nokia products. No love for iPods or Creative Zens, but a big gold star for allowing users to access the site from their phones. Check it out for yourself at www.music.nokia.com.sg. At press time the site only supported Internet Explorer…good luck.

As for other people-haters, Metallica, who notoriously b*tch-slapped file-sharing service Napster with a groundbreaking lawsuit back in 2000, has announced that it might consider trying its hand at online distribution (ha!). The band is signed to Warner Music, but will be free from its contract after releasing its next full-length album. In an April interview with Rolling Stone, drummer Lars Ulrich claims they want ‘to be as free a player as possible…looking forward to everything in terms of possibilities with the internet.’ Looks like when it comes to the new trend of music freeconomics, everyone’s a fair-weather friend.

CD releases
JUNE
• Weezer, Weezer (The Red Album), 2 Jun
• Various Artists, Ed Banger III, 9 Jun
• Beach Boys, The Capitol Years (sningles collection), 16 Jun
• Burial, DJ Kicks, 23 Jun
JULY
• Chromeo, Fancy Footwork Remixes, 17 Jul
• Cansei de Ser Sexy, Donkey, 22 Jul

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Love won’t tear us apart
Don’t get me wrong. Most of the bands listed below are some of my all-time favourites. In fact, the Smashing Pumpkins rank No 1 in my book, if I had to pick just one. I don’t mean the current disaster masquerading as the Smashing Pumpkins; I’m talking about the original line-up, the immortal quartet of Jimmy Chamberlin, James Iha, D’arcy Wretzky and Billy ‘Control Freak’ Corgan. The chick from Hole just doesn’t quite cut it, and frankly, post-rehab Jimmy is no fun. So in the true spirit of rock ’n’ roll, here are our top entries in the Time Out Singapore Hall of Shame – eight bands that just shouldn’t be together. Ever. Again.

7. The Fugees
When they were together, the three Fugees – Lauryn Hill, Pras Michel and Wyclef Jean – rubbed each other up the wrong way. For inexplicable reasons ($?) the trio got back together for a reunion tour in 2005, which led to gossip about a new studio album. Michel and Hill – notorious for their spats – made sure that didn’t happen. To top it off, this March, Wyclef told Sirius radio shock jock Howard Stern that Hill is bipolar and that ‘she needs meds’. Note to band: stay apart.

6. The Smashing Pumpkins
Most of us have fond memories of their grunge period, and it’s likely that those memories include watching the ‘Bullet with Butterfly Wings’ video on MTV (remember when reality shows weren’t around?) and buying a ZERO T-shirt. I’ve absolutely no desire to see the current reincarnation of SP in concert. Quit while you’re ahead, guys!

5. Led Zeppelin Some of my indignant TOS colleagues think it’s a moral outrage to include Led Zep on this list. But since the release of their greatest-‘hits’ album Mothership, I now have to put up with 12-year-olds wearing band T-shirts with no clue about the history and spirit of the band. It’s depressing. I still don’t want to see Robert Plant and Jimmy Page creak about on-stage; I’d prefer to think of them when they were in their prime.

4. The Backstreet Boys
Where do I even begin? They blew my pre-pubescent mind with ‘Everybody’, among other timeless pop classics, and even my mother likes them. But, like NKOTB and Take That, they definitely aren’t boys, or kids any more; in 2006, Kevin Richardson – aka ‘the tall one’ – left to start a family (ie, spawn his own set of boys).

3. Rush
In early May, original Rush drummer and founding member John Rutsey passed away. Hard hair rock will never be the same, especially considering that Rush was, and is, one of Canada’s finest exports. Their seven-minute epic ‘Working Man’ still makes the old man in me come out to play. Okay, that sounded wrong, but so is proceeding without your original band members.

2. Judas Priest/Megadeth
These two iconic metal bands just aren’t the same any more. Judas Priest have devolved into tame little pussycats since their reunion in 2003. Temporary singer ‘Ripper’ Owens made way for original vocalist Rob Halford, who, for the record, is a great example of an openly gay music figure in a notoriously hetero genre. As for Megadeth, Dave Mustaine’s crew has been sucking hard instead of rocking since reuniting in 2004.

1. Guns N’ Roses
So what if Axl is a living legend? Who cares about the epic videos with supermodels, the amazing hair, or The Spaghetti Incident? It simply isn’t the same if Slash, Izzy and Duff aren’t in the band line-up. Not to mention the long-awaited album Chinese Democracy, which has been ‘in the works’ since 1999. What is Axl thinking?