Georgia Reeve sets aside plenty of time to find out how hard it is to learn Tantric sex

To me, the words ‘Tantric sex’ have always conjured the image of candlelight, a ‘meditation chants’ album playing in the background, and a smug naked couple sitting cross-legged on a sheepskin rug by an open fire, ready to engage in a mind-blowing, 48-hour love-making fest. The reality, however, was my partner and me sitting (and fidgeting) among ten other strangers in a dimly lit room. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was the unsexiest moment of my life, but it definitely had Sting and Trudie allusions. Shudder. 



So what is it that they know and I don’t? To be fair, I’m quite a sceptic when it comes to sex as a spiritual practice – connecting for hours and heightening your sexual awareness by looking deep into your loved one’s eyes. I mean, really? However, I’m not one to pass up the potential benefits of either an improved sex life or a new learning experience, so I agreed to see what all the fuss was about and go to a Tantra workshop at Oohtique! Concept Store (pictured below). The class claimed to help people ‘learn the key to experience ecstatic orgasm more deeply, through a variety of sexual techniques that enhance the fullness of sexual pleasure and spiritual surrender’. 

Hmm, right. As we stood on the pavement and paused for the obligatory moment-of-hesitation, my curiosity about the other attendees finally got us through the door. What kind of people go to these things, anyway? Would they be crazy sex fiends or weird hippies? In the ‘lounge’, my partner and I exchanged nervous glances when we saw the chandeliers and bright-pink wallpaper, not to mention the pillows and blindfolds placed neatly on the floor. However, we were relieved to see a normal mix of people: a pair of twentysomething girls game for a laugh; a couple who wanted to escape the kids for a few hours and try something for themselves; and two single men and two single women, all there out of sheer curiosity. 

Our teacher was Christina Low, a ‘visionary Tantrist’ – according to her name card – who has been teaching these classes for three years. Her chatty, informal and friendly demeanour immediately put us at ease and alleviated the nerves and sheepishness that go with the territory. She explained that at the core, Tantra (an Indian tradition) is different from conventional sex in that the aim is to reach a constant state of bliss. This state of sexual ecstasy can last from minutes to days, and it is supposedly a great way to become more intimate with your partner. Whereas ‘normal’ sex often builds up to reach a peak (or orgasm) mainly felt in just the genital area, Tantric sex is an experience felt throughout the whole body, in which you can undergo a trembling sensation that, in some cases, lasts for days. (I guess that explains the hype.) 

After our initial introduction to Tantra we were led through a series of exercises. First, we sat on the floor opposite our partners, put our right hand over their left and were instructed to stare into their eyes. This evidently led to some confusion as to what we were looking for; as it turns out, we were ‘soul-gazing’ and ‘attuning our hearts and minds beyond the limitations of the personality, experiencing the other person as part of ourself’, says Low. With practice, you are supposed to be able to glimpse into your partner’s soul; ohhh-kay, anyone else feeling just a little freaked out? Once this was over, we were asked to swap partners. If you thought holding hands and staring into the eyes of your partner was unnerving, try doing this with a complete stranger. 

Next up, we were told to put on a blindfold and dance freestyle by ourselves. Yes, you read right. Apparently endorphins are released when you dance and, according to Tantra, the act often precedes love-making. So by getting us to dance, we were learning to get rid of stress and tension and ‘open the body’ to experience whole-body orgasms. Too bad all I heard was a lot of anticlimactic, nervous-sounding shuffling. 

Post-dance, more exercises followed (hands up who thinks this is starting to feel like physical education class?). We were told to bend our knees and rock back and forth to ‘increase the build-up of sexual arousal and spread sexual energy to other parts of the body’, says Low, and end with a pelvic-rocking exercise combined with harmonising breaths. This was to teach us to ‘use our breath to amplify your movements, sounds and sensations in your body – what happens during sexual orgasm’, says Low. Oh, and good news for the timid – this final task was about as risqué as it got and you only have to do these gentle exercises, not sexual positions, in front of everyone. 

In the end, I’m sure practice and more than a 90-minute class is needed to perfect this art. For myself, it would definitely take a bit more to win over my cynical side, especially since our one attempt to take our homework, er, home ended in a fit of the giggles and definitely no lengthy orgasmic state. However, it was a real eye-opener in the sense that it helped me see the act of sex in a new and refreshing light. My conclusion? I wouldn’t write off Tantric sex and, although it’s not right up my alley, it might be up yours, so go on and give it a go. 

For full class information and dates, go to www.tantrapath.com.  

Photo top Lester Ledesma.

Bedside reading
Too shy to sign up for a public class? Consult these books for some DIY Tantra

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex, 2nd Edition (Penguin) $19.95 from Borders Bookstore.
Tantra: Path of Ecstasy (Shambhala Publications) $19.95 from Borders. 
Tantric Secrets for Men: What Every Woman Will Want Her Man to Know about Enhancing Sexual Ecstasy (Destiny Books) $38.95 from Borders.