The Deals on Wheels

The odd teething problem aside, the motorhome we hired was a beauty. The Swift Kon-Tiki 645 might sound like a boat sponsored to endure some pointless round-the-world sailing contest, but it is in fact a 7.5-metre long humdinger: sleeping room for six (very comfy sofabeds), a good cooker that runs on gas (two canisters on board – it sucks them dry so watch out for that), a fridge (vital for cold beer), a kettle, a shower that you don’t really use, and lots of crockery, glasses and kitchen utensils.

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Space is tight – though storage is ample – and the drawers are worth a mention. Spectacularly well designed, narrow and yet seemingly deeper than Loch Ness, these little stormers all have push-button locks to prevent your red wine or expensive olive oil smashing on the floor when you nudge idly into another medieval folly while attempting to cruise through downtown Cahors.

A few basic rules apply: when booking a site make sure you are getting a pitch with water and electricity. You can plug in using the provided cable (double check on adaptors – on one small rural site we found none and had to trek around villages to locate the right part) and all sites have somewhere that you can dispose of your waste if you take the plunge with the shower or onboard toilet. A huge water tank sits under the chassis, which you will need to refill to use the sink and washbasin.

When – if – things do go wrong, you can rely on the global motorhoming community to lend a helping hand. When our electricity packed in we were rescued by a man called Jeremy who had named his sons after Formula One racing drivers (Damon and Jenson). He reassured us that a quick fiddle with a screwdriver would see to the problem (‘design flaw – I’ve written to them about it already’). It did the trick.
Away from the beast, the holiday is free to run its usual course, which meant for us, dawdling by the Dordogne, ambling back up to the beast for cold beer, cheese and salami, driving leisurely down to the Languedoc when we wanted to swap
grey skies for blue, and canoeing for cassoulet and Cathar ruins.

The single best thing about the Swift is undoubtedly the den above the driver’s seat, where you will invariably find your children (Would you be doing this if you didn’t have any? Why? Get a hotel, for God’s sake). Up in their eyrie they will sleep, watch DVDs, mess around, peer out from its neat little windows and make faces at you as you try to drink wine, play chess and listen to Tom Waits. And did I mention? You’ll have a field day at the hypermarket – and finally find a real use for the shower room: storing crates of wine.

 

Gordon Thomson
Time Out London: April 12-19 2006