Flight-free Europe

With the opening of the High Speed 1 railway line between St Pancras International and the Channel Tunnel, flight-free travel to Europe has become a practical option. It's also the most enjoyable and environmentally intelligent way of taking a holiday. So put your airport anxieties and no-frills nightmares behind you and take the train, and the boat, and the bus...

Spain

All aboard the 'trenhotel' (train hotel)

For long-suffering UK train users – especially London commuters doomed to stand to and from work every day of their lives – comfort and service are rare treats. For regular Eurostar (and TGV, Thalys and AVE) users (www.eurostar.com), high-speed intercity links between major hubs are all well and good, but are often bookended by an overpriced stay in a rabbit-hutch chain hotel in Paris, Barcelona, Madrid or Milan.

Still little known here, there's a train between these centres that provides comfort, service and a satisfying sleep – a 'trenhotel', in fact, called Elipsos (www.elipsos.com).

Created as a joint operation between Spanish national rail network RENFE and its French counterpart, SNCF, Elipsos takes the 'sleeping car' to another level. It's not cheap, but it isn't extortionate, and you won't be wheeling your case on the platform of Barcelona França, Madrid Chamartín or Milano Centrale bleary from a juddering journey of little shut-eye, smelling of train after 24 hours unwashed.

This is old-school travel, the kind of pre-Costa, pre-budget-flight experience of Beatles-era, BOAC lore. If you recall the 1963 movie 'The VIPs' in which Richard, Liz and other martini-swilling guests get laced at 'London Airport' before being whisked on to their flight by understanding, liveried flunkies, that's what it's all about.

The practicalities

Your journey may start at Paris, perhaps having crossed the Channel by Eurostar and the French capital by Métro line 5 from Gare du Nord to Gare d'Austerlitz. Or take a cab, and have Paris spread out before you, crossing the Seine before pulling into the mid-nineteenth-century steam palace named after Napoleon's most famous victory. This Left Bank landmark is currently being refurbished (completion date 2020), so expect scaffolding and hoardings – but a decent bar-restaurant makes up for any disappointment. There's a full menu of classic French dishes, plus free wi-fi for 20 minutes.

If you need to pick up your tickets or request further information, there's an Elipsos office opposite platform 16. Otherwise, Barcelona-bound travellers need only look at the regular departure board. Standing out between the bland destinations of south-western France is the promising caption 'Joan Miró Barcelona 20.32'. Those heading to Madrid would have travelled at 19.45 by the Francisco de Goya and for Milan you leave Barcelona at 19.38 by the Salvador Dalí, all arriving in time for a full day's work/sightseeing. The Miró service was instigated in 1974, Goya in 1981 and Dalí in 1990, although the all-singing, all-dancing luxury Elipsos touch wasn't added until 2001.

It carried 353,000 passengers in 2007, and claims an 80 per cent occupancy rate – not bad considering many are paying top dollar. Trains are Talgo RD models which travel at speeds of up to 200km an hour, the design neatly skirting the gauge differential over the Spanish border (ah, Franco!) by being equipped with displaceable wheels, changed over in seconds.

The class system

There's Tourist Class (four beds, wash basin, power point, a few goodies); Club Class (interconnecting rooms for family travel, a few more goodies); and Grand Class (as well as your own toilet, you get your own shower, all en suite). After showering as you hurtle through the southern suburbs of Paris, you may dine gourmet style and drink like a brushmaker – but we'll come to that shortly. All classes receive the same goodies: complimentary mineral water and a toilet bag stuffed with kit: hair gel, shampoo, soap, a comb, toothpaste, a mini toothbrush, shoe polish, a sewing kit, a razor, shaving cream, paper tissues, a shower cap and earplugs. Bathroom slippers are placed alongside. Grand Class customers can also peruse the day's press in French and Spanish.

Take a seat in Grand Class

As the train glides smoothly towards Orléans, it's soon 9.30pm and dinnertime. Grand Class being next to the dining car, it's a step from slipping your punch-holed doorkey into your pocket as you close your bedroom door before being shown to your table by a waiter. For GC customers, this is the main perk – a full menu with all the wine you can drink, then breakfast the next morning. The hoi polloi must fork out – expect to blow around €25 for two à la carte courses.

Meals start with a glass of Champagne, followed by a menu with meat and fish options. Those requiring vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free or salt-free fare may order 72 hours in advance. On my train, there was a tasty consommé , then a cut of beef ringed by steamed vegetables done just right.

A decent Rioja arrived, and the waiters will even suggest a digestif, and plonk that on the table too. Warning: do serious damage to a bottle of Pacharán and you'll be honking up before Figueres the next morning. More modest diners may nibble on the Manchego and quince that comprises dessert.

Nightcaps and fluffy pillows

Past midnight (Limoges), assuming you can still stand, you can have a nightcap at the bar, which is called ¡Claro!, meaning 'of course'.

Your bed, prepared for you by one of the 14 carriage staff, is equipped with fluffy pillows, pristine, non-scratchy sheets and blankets – although adjusting the air-conditioning may work better than that extra blanket. Sleep comes as Spain approaches. Some may rise to Dalí's Figueres just before 6.30am, and the promise of breakfast and the day's football press should get you into the shower and back to the dining car around 7am. Barça-partisan El Mundo Deportivo and Real-favouring Marca can battle it out over a breakfast table of scrambled eggs, bacon and mushrooms, costing €5.70 for Tourist Class. By Girona, it should be daylight, and you'll see its cathedral and memorable skyline as you cross the Onyar.

The train passes sundry satellite towns of Barcelona, commuters waiting bleary-eyed on platforms, as you slowly prepare for the real world. Staff return tickets and passports, taken for safe keeping the night before as the sprawl of factories and warehouses becomes properly urban.

Arrival is as smooth as the journey. Barcelona's grand Franca station is a modernista monument in itself, having been remodelled for the 1929 World Exposition. It's also wonderfully empty, and a short walk from the seafront. If you're moving on from here, it'll almost certainly be from the seventh sphere of hell that is the main station, Sants. Still, after this, rail travel will never seem the same again.

Fast facts

Standard single prices for the nightly 20.32 from Paris-Austerlitz to Barcelona França, arriving 8.24am, are €468 for Grand Class, €388 for Club Class and €172 for Tourist Class. If booked 14 days in advance, singles in Tourist Class are €88; there is also a 35 per cent 'Duo' discount scheme for couples. See www.elipsos.com.

Holland

Hankering for Holland? Get a Stena Line ferry from Harwich to the Hook of Holland, the gateway port to the country’s many cities. Hop on a train to The Hague, Holland’s seat of government. Take in the historic Houses of Parliament and Peace Palace by tram before heading to the North Sea resort of Scheveningen for some kitesurfing and sunbathing. Finish your trip off with a visit to the Mauritshuis art gallery to marvel at paintings from Holland’s seventeenth-century golden age, or unwind at the Vitalizee spa with naked thermal bathing and revitalising treatments. Rotterdam, Haarlem and Amsterdam are all within easy reach.

Fast facts

Foot passengers £54 per person return; journey time 6hrs 55mins (www.stenaline.co.uk). London Liverpool Street-Harwich International, returns from £28.

Paris

Done Paris too many times? Then head to Avignon on the summer-only direct Eurostar service from St Pancras International. At this speed, you won’t see much out of the window except blurred cows and baked-dry hills, but in 5hrs 49mins you’ll be enjoying great Provençal cuisine and superb (and superbly cheap) wine and laid-back sightseeing in the historic City of the Popes.

Fast facts

Returns start from £109; the service runs July 11-Sept 12 (www.eurostar.com). A navette (shuttle-bus) meets you at the station and whisks you into the centre.

Brussels

Arty day out in Brussels Reach the Belgian capital in just 1hr 51mins – the daily commute for some Londoners – from St Pancras International to Bruxelles-Midi. Enjoy a lunchtime treat of moules and frites and then visit the brand new museum dedicated to Belgium’s best-known surrealist, René Magritte. Part of the Museum of Modern Art complex on the Place Royale, the museum brings together some 170 works by the artist. If you do decide to stay over, check out the  Hotel Amigo; designer Olga Polizzi has installed copies of Magritte’s paintings in all the rooms. The Hotel Amigo’s Magritte package starts from €293 per room, per night (www.hotelamigo.com).

Fast facts

London-Brussels returns from £59 (www.eurostar.com).

More information

For more holidays that don't involve the anxieties of airports, pick up a copy of our guidebook 'Time Out Flight-Free Europe', available from www.timeout.com/shop for just £11.99.