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Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

LACTOSE TOLERANT Master Shake takes the stand.

Slapdash surrealism for the wake-and-bake set, this fiercely anticinematic feature version of Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim mainstay is as absurdly elongated as its title, and ultimately just as pointless. Which is precisely the point: Behind the movie’s jaded-fanboy stew of banal jokiness, knee-jerk sadism and rank terror of women is a kind of underachieving fury at the culture of achievement. If nothing else, ATHFCMFFT takes the piss—and poop, naturally—out of the Hollywood blockbuster imperative.

Recounting the plot is as futile as the plot itself: Essentially a creation myth for the show’s beloved sentient fast-food products, Master Shake (Snyder), Frylock (Means) and Meatwad (cocreator Willis), the story works in an all-star roster of supporting characters from the TV iteration to uncover the origins of a sinister home-exercise machine called the Insanoflex. An aimless War of the Worlds scenario ensues, then fittingly fizzles.

Aficionados are unlikely to be either surprised or disappointed by ATHFCMFFT, although its running time painfully accentuates the premise’s thinness. Interested but uninitiated moviegoers would do well to heed a cryptic warning/invitation that appears on Frylock’s computer screen midfilm: “Don’t do it. Enjoy.” (Opens Fri; Click here for venues.) — Mark Holcomb

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