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New Year's resolutions for Chicago

Written by
Brent DiCrescenzo
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New Year's resolutions are on all of our minds. At least for a couple of weeks. After stuffing your face this holiday season, you are likely comparing gyms to join. After nursing that New Year's Eve hangover at brunch, you will vow to give up (some) booze. But today, we're thinking about improvements Chicago should resolve to make in 2015. Check out the list below, and add your suggestions in the comments.

CTA holiday trains for more holidays. Why can't we have Uncle Sam, pyrotechnics and Bruce Springsteen on a 4th of July train?

No more hamburger chains. Epic and M Burger and Marc Burger and Umami and Shake Shack and Sonic and Culver's are enough, thanks.

Let's not get our hopes up about the Cubs. You have been paying attention the last 107 years, right?

No Divvy Bike union strike. (Divvy workers joined a union in November.)

Speaking of Divvy Bikes, can we change the name "Divvy"? Our British colleagues giggle whenever they visit and read that. (Google that slang term.)

Everyone vote in the mayoral election in February. The 43 percent turnout in 2011 was embarrassing.

Keep breeding those damn adorable sea otters. Baby sea otters do not remain baby sea otters forever.

Let's wait to buy summer music festival tickets until after the lineups are announced. This way, we might get some better headliners.

Start a city-funded Chicago House Music Festival.

Quit smoking. By which we mean: Stop trying to set damp buildings on fire in the river as part of the Great Chicago Fire Festival, which somehow returns in 2015.

Find a better place for a new park than the middle of a massive highway interchange.

Last year, our request for ramen was answered. In 2015, we are asking for Malaysian restaurants.

Stop using a plus signs in restaurant names (Owen + Alchemy, Oak + Char). It should be an ampersand, not a basic math equation.

Enough with the TV shows about our municipal services. Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., Sirens… What's next, a gritty Dick Wolfe soap about street cleaning?

Bring back the boot mugs, Christkindlmarket. Hot wine demands to be sipped out of ceramic footwear.

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