Heard on the street, December 13, 2012, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
Advertising

I’ll forward you the e-mail chain. It’s a circle jerk of passive-aggression.

Did you know that you have seven sphincters in your body?

“She’s Always a Woman,” “She’s Right on Time”—Billy Joel just writes about women getting their periods.

I know, Mom, but goblins are one thing; penis pumps and assless chaps are another.

“Are you getting spanked tonight?” “No, I am getting Glazed and Infused.”

I just realized that the fact that I often put girl groups on when I clean is kind of sexist.

They have seven kids and they’re not religious?

No, no, no. I said hookahs, not hookers.

You’ve been harder to reach than me when the child support payments are due.

Advertising
This page was migrated to our new look automatically. Let us know if anything looks off at feedback@timeout.com