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If you have an ass-liver, you�re president of the fraternity.
I�d rather be clam slapped than wiener whacked.
�My name is Gregor.� �I am Gregor, too!�
I carry a personal ChapStick and a guest ChapStick, in case anyone asks.
When I get into a cab and they have paper towels, I get nervous. I have a puke fear. It�s a problem.
�I�ve never been anywhere in the Caribbean.� �I�ve never been anywhere.�
I�m tired and farty.
Remember how I was going to write that cover letter? Well, now I�m looking at Moroccan poufs on Overstock.com.
I bet you homed in on my birthing hips.
Her dildo�s name is Jesus.
I must get a breath of fresh air. I�m being choked by your corpulence.
Heard on the street, March 7, 2013, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
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