Heard on the street, March 7, 2013, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
1/11
If you have an ass-liver, you�re president of the fraternity.
2/11
I�d rather be clam slapped than wiener whacked.
3/11
�My name is Gregor.� �I am Gregor, too!�
4/11
I carry a personal ChapStick and a guest ChapStick, in case anyone asks.
5/11
When I get into a cab and they have paper towels, I get nervous. I have a puke fear. It�s a problem.
6/11
�I�ve never been anywhere in the Caribbean.� �I�ve never been anywhere.�
7/11
I�m tired and farty.
8/11
Remember how I was going to write that cover letter? Well, now I�m looking at Moroccan poufs on Overstock.com.
9/11
I bet you homed in on my birthing hips.
10/11
Her dildo�s name is Jesus.
11/11
I must get a breath of fresh air. I�m being choked by your corpulence.
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