My binder full of women got full, so I started sleeping with men.
How do you spell queef?
“I drank Smirnoff last night.” “That makes two of us!”
He’s on the way to having a TLC show.
I haven’t had a trick since my birthday.
You look like a broke-ass Bradley Cooper.
I mean, people have a right to know if the pizza they’re eating is vegan!
Hey, man, I don’t actually follow football. I’m just makin’ conversation.
I really do have a fat kid hiding inside of me.
Don’t get me wrong, I know we have to have these day-job things…
I love Jerry Taft! Tell his neck I said hi.
Whenever you’re in a postapocalyptic scenario, robot sex is where the money is.