Heard on the street, November 1, 2012, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.

My binder full of women got full, so I started sleeping with men.

How do you spell queef?

“I drank Smirnoff last night.” “That makes two of us!”

He’s on the way to having a TLC show.

I haven’t had a trick since my birthday.

You look like a broke-ass Bradley Cooper.

I mean, people have a right to know if the pizza they’re eating is vegan!

Hey, man, I don’t actually follow football. I’m just makin’ conversation.

I really do have a fat kid hiding inside of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I know we have to have these day-job things…

I love Jerry Taft! Tell his neck I said hi.

Whenever you’re in a postapocalyptic scenario, robot sex is where the money is.