Do you ever watch Tom Skilling and touch yourself?
“You just know the Blue Angels pilots have such hard-ons right now.” “The g-forces get the blood flowing south.”
I’m having my mom send me all my Bright Eyes T-shirts from high school so I can wear them all at the same time.
Why do aquarium stores and porn shops smell the same?
I give really enthusiastic head. Sometimes I throw my neck out.
Can’t you see that I’m in the depths of crazy despair right now?
Never mind. I love Robert Redford. It’s Burt Reynolds that I hate.
You don’t look like a Christmas tree to me!
Did you just say you have a cock ring in your butt?
I’ve shit my pants in at least two countries.