11 more signs that you’re a real Hongkonger
Sign one: Your body is 80 percent carbohydrates instead of water. You literally get grumpy when you don’t have some form of carb in your belly. For you, carbs work as any meal. Breakfast? Congee or macaroni. Lunch? Stir-fried noodles. Dinner? A big ol’ bowl of rice. And snack? Instant noodles.
Sleeping with wet hair is the biggest offence in Hong Kong culture. It ought to have been instilled in you since you could walk that it’s a big no-no. “You’ll get headaches for the rest of your life,” they say or, “You’re asking to be sick.” Hairdryers are a must in the house.
First of all, a real Hongkonger wouldn’t even pick up calls with any phone number that starts with the number 3, 5 or 8. You know it’s going to be an annoying telemarketer or more a money scam. If you do happen to take the call and realise who’s talking, you either hang up, pretend you don’t speak Cantonese or you chat with an obviously annoyed tone of voice. Sure, it’s just a job for the telemarketers but seriously, you don’t care.
Sure, texting and typing in English is the fastest way to communicate, but a real child of Hong Kong can seamlessly combine and swap between Chinese and English in a single sentence like a boss by spelling out phonetics. You know, typing ‘mm goi’ in place of thanks, etc.
Seriously, they’re like earworms. Maybe television commercials were simply better back in the day, or you can chalk it up by the sheer amount of TV you used to watch. Either way, you somehow have the ability to recite every line to these ads and can sing the jingles of numerous old advertisements. Bet you remember Sze Hing Loong roasted peanuts. Or Weisen-U.
Hongkongers have been doing nose-to-tail dining way before it was cool in the west. Aside from the obvious, like chicken feet and pig’s blood, a real Hongkonger is likely a big fan of chicken testicles and duck tongues, and wouldn’t flinch snacking on beef entrails. Move over zero wasters, Hongkongers are the ones who never waste a thing.
You pride yourself on being an expert at either game, so whenever there’s a big gathering, when you hear there’s a deck of cards, you’re totally ready to get into a game of Big Two. The same goes for family dinners at a Chinese restaurant, if there are a couple of mahjong tables to hand, you’ll make a beeline for them, either because you love the game or are hoping to avoid annoying relatives.
The problem with Hong Kong being a food paradise is that it’s so effing hard not to sample and indulge in all the amazing dishes that the city has to offer. So like the masochist that you are, you talk about how you’ll only have a bite of this or how you’ll skip the next meal as you shove piles of calories into your mouth. Hey, at least you tried.
And you’re not wrong. Extremely flavourful without being overly salty (relatively), there’s a reason why it’s one of the most common items in every cha chaan teng in Hong Kong. Ate satay beef noodles yesterday? Time to change it up with a satay beef sando. There’s even a satay beef French toast at Lok Yuen. And you’re never ever sick of it all.
And any products that provide SPF 100+++ (or to that degree) of UV coverage. Even if you’re not deathly afraid of stepping outside in the sun, you want to slather your face with every cream and serum available to help prevent any freckles from forming and to maintain your luminescent white skin.