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Time Out awards its first-ever no-star film review... can you guess the movie?

Tom Huddleston

Every film has something to recommend it, right? Whether it's a fleeting pretty shot, or a decent supporting performance, or a line of dialogue that makes you smile. That's what we thought too: until this week, and the release of the execrable, brain-frazzling, intelligence-insulting, vile, putrid, infantile, boring, brainless, Christ-make-it-stop-make-it-stop 'The Human Centipede III'.

To be fair, we could've seen it coming: the first two 'Human Centipede' movies weren't exactly masterpieces, though the central concept of people forcibly sewn bum-to-mouth had a certain anatomically horrific novelty value. With even that dubious fascination having long since worn off, the third and please-God final movie has literally nothing left going for it.

You can read our review and find London showtimes here. But remember, if you ignore our advice and choose to see the movie, don't come crying to Time Out if you end up tearing your own eyes out.

Want to watch something decent? Here are the best new movies to see this month.

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