McNeil & Pamphilon’s quiz: which video games character are you?

Play along with the nerdy sketch duo behind ‘Go 8 Bit!’

© Karl Gowlett

Whether you’re a video games nerd or not, sketch duo McNeil & Pamphilon’s ‘Go 8 Bit!’ gig is a hoot. Each month, stand-ups battle it out on retro consoles, but the real fun comes from the team spirit, funny guests and loser forfeits. Get a taste of the vibe with the pair’s quiz to find out which pixely character you are.


You’re arranging a get-together for your lovely chums. But where?

A Jungle Jim’s Adventure Playground. Did someone say ‘ball pit’? No? Oh.
B Hampton Court maze. That won’t be tedious.
C A lovely picnic on a nice green hill.
D A meal in Chinatown. Then get in a fight.
E A tour of the sewers? Really? Okay...


You’re taking a date. Who to invite?

A Just force someone to accompany you against their will. Not cool, dude.
B The spirit of a dead enemy. Time to let bygones be bygones.
C A fox. An actual fox. Taking humans as guests is so 1990.
D Noone. You’ve never found a man strong enough to handle you.
E Check to see if that special someone you like is free. They’re usually elsewhere.


This is shaping up great! But, most importantly, what to wear?

A A fur coat. It annoys some people, but you’re confident it’s morally justifiable.
B Lipstick. A pink bow. Nothing else.
C White gloves (fancy) and red sneakers (casual). God, you’re complex.
D A nice blue dress. Not too tight though, in case things kick off.
E Heading straight from work so it’ll be the overalls. Classy.


It’s not a night out without drugs, is it? You decide to take:

A No drugs. Drugs are bad. Just eat some bananas, you potassium fiend, you.
B Pills. Literally hundreds of pills.
C Speed. It’s all about speed with you.
D No drugs. Drugs are bad. (Editor insisted we make that point at least twice). Just a nice cup of lapsang souchong. Your body is a temple.
E Mushrooms. If anything, they improve your driving.


Who’d have guessed it? Everyone’s gone mental on drugs and it’s kicking off! What do you do?

A Jump up and down like a prick to intimidate everyone.
B Drop one of your big pills, then gobble up the other guests.
C Curl up in a ball and hope they go away.
D Hover upside down and kick them in the face.
E Fireballs. Conjure and throw fireballs.

What a party! So, let’s find out who you are…

Mostly As You’re Donkey Kong! Big, strong and, strangely, not a donkey.
Mostly Bs You’re Ms Pac-Man! A yellow circle. Big win for you!
Mostly Cs You’re Sonic the Hedgehog! You have spines on your back. Wacky!
Mostly Ds You’re Chun-Li, from ‘Street Fighter II’! Spinning birdkick, right?
Mostly Es You’re Mario! He’s friends with a green dinosaur. And they say games are for kids…
Mostly Fs You’re an idiot! Try again.