The Scott Capurro Awards
In his live chat show at the RVT, Scott Capurro has probed many an interviewee. Here, he dishes out the gongs to some of his favourite guests…
Best Posse - Vivienne Westwood (she brought her kids!)
'We've had many wonderful guests at “Scott Capurro's Position”, but I had an out-of-body experiencewhen Vivienne Westwood came by. I mean, please, she's a huge fashion icon and I'm an unfashionable gay, so I considered begging her for advice. However, the tension in the venue was so severe that there was no “me” time. Her fans were focused on her oeuvre, and I think they were nervous I'd make fun of her. But how could I? - a) I have a poster of her hanging in my study, and b) I ADORE HER GENIUS. She chatted about shoes and we ignored her manifesto. (Which is lovely. I also believe in trees, but I wanted to find out how the dresses were made.) She was slightly rough on Malcolm McLaren, who had only just died at the time and apparently “never pushed himself enough, artistically”. She then pedalled off on her bike, her gorgeous mane billowing behind. At 10pm. In Vauxhall! What an angel.'
Strongest Stroke - Michael Barrymore (he moves so fast)
'Michael was my first TV addiction, and I'd followed his media turmoil with the fierce intensity only a disillusioned, deeply imbalanced showperson (that's me) could offer. When he arrived at the venue, he seemed nervous and slightly fragile, so I was unsure how hard I could push things during the interview. Clearly, the crowd wanted to visit the swimming pool, andsurprisingly Michael led us straight there. His candour moved me. He spoke of his early years as a comedy performer in south London, when he refused to follow the trend of misogyny and racism. I suggested perhaps the alternative comedy stage should be where he makes his return, and he said that mine was the sort of advice his ex-wife Cheryl (now deceased) would've provided.'
Sweetest Spice - Mel C (she's practically edible)
'Actually, it's “Melanie C” now. And again, I was nervous. I'm relatively new at this interview thingy. How does one approach the gay rumour? Lesbians are incredibly favourable right now. Still, it's confrontational to talk about sexuality. Melanie immediately confirmed she was not a lesbian, but that if her backflips had brought a couple of questioning ladies to a foamy froth, so be it. Later, she even joined in a singalong of one of her Spice Girls hits. Adorably, she'd forgotten the lyrics, and had to read them off a copy my co-host (and hardest working cabaret personality in London) David Mills had cleverly provided. It was a resounding end to a perfect chat, and while exiting the venue, with clawing fans swamping her, she generously posed, autographed and smiled her way into my Hall of Fame.'
Most Hands-On - Ken Livingstone (he's surprisingly tactile)
'This dude can really work a gay room. Not that the Royal Vauxhall Tavern is a gay venue, necessarily. Well, it is, but during my chat show all sorts of people turn up. When Claudia Winkleman dropped by, lots of suburban women, real ones, many pretending to be mini Claudias, dragged along their unwitting boyfriends. And on Ken's night, several tight-vested queens and tube-topped teachers jumped off their high chairs with left-leaning political questions, to which Ken responded, smiling and gentle. He promised he would give us whatever we wanted. I wanted his hand off my right knee (or so I said), but he knew I was lying and when he guessed my age as 38, I fell back in love with old Labour.'