The Heavy

Film, Thrillers
  • 1 out of 5 stars
  • 3 out of 5 stars
(2user reviews)
0 Love It
Save it
The Heavy
Boots (Gary Stretch) is an ’ard case. We know this because: a) he beats a guy half to death in the first scene, b) he’s not scared of Vinnie Jones and c) even though his mum and dad speak with middle-English accents and his brother is running for prime minister, he still talks like a no-shit toughnut of non-specific Northern origin. It’s oversights like this that make ‘The Heavy’ slightly more cackhandedly entertaining than the average unwatchable cockney gangland epic. The plot is risible, the dialogue ripe, the characters paper thin and painfully familiar. It’s directed with clunky predictability and acted with all the subtlety and grace of an amateur dramatics production of ‘Get Carter’. But in the plus column, we get Vinnie sporting the most unintentionally hilarious goatee in ’ard-man history, and Lee Ryan from Blue convincing as a snivelling, effeminate lackey. Ryan is by far the best thing in the movie – which is as damning an indictment as I can imagine.

By: Tom Huddleston


Release details

Rated: 18
Release date: Friday April 16 2010
Duration: 102 mins

Cast and crew

Director: Marcus Warren
Cast: Gary Stretch
Vinnie Jones
Stephen Rea

Average User Rating

3.8 / 5

Rating Breakdown

  • 5 star:0
  • 4 star:1
  • 3 star:0
  • 2 star:0
  • 1 star:0
1 person listening

Just watched this the other night. It really was awful. I wanted to like it because it had a cast that must have been decided upon when the casting director was on acid (Lee from Blue, an ex-Wimbledon footballer, an ex-middleweight boxer, Christopher Lee, the guy who played Highlander on TV and Sadie Frost). The film might have been passable and seems to have been inspired by Layer Cake - but the acting in The Heavy is atrocious. Seriously, some of the worst acting I've seen. Flaws in the story or directing just add insult to injury.


I really liked the film, agreed Vinnie's goatee was awful and I'm a huge Jones fan! Gary Stretch, Lee Ryan and Shannyn Sossamon were the high lighs for me. The thing that got me was the hiding behind a material sofa & platerboard counter to take cover from bullets! Overall 4 stars.