Emmy The Great: how to write a Christmas song

You don’t have to be great to write a decent festive song explains songstress Emma-Lee Moss

Dinosaur Jr: Emmy doesn't get what she wants from Santa Dinosaur Jr: Emmy doesn't get what she wants from Santa - Alex Lake
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    When making a Christmas song, start with this: it’s got to be about Christmas. It doesn’t necessarily have to have the word Christmas in it, but you’ve got to give them something. Are you driving home? Are you roasting chestnuts? Is Santa molesting your mother? Context is key, otherwise it’s just a song.

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    Not even the surliest of hipsters can resist a bit of sentiment at Christmas, so slap it on. A Christmas song should make you feel a bittersweet glowing warmth every time you hear it, like the Snowman just melted in your heart.

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    Dumb fun

    Even Bing Crosby sang the classics with a twinkle in his eye. There are Christmas songs out there that don’t embrace the absurd spirit of the season, but I think the people who wrote them need to get more drunk.

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    Sleigh bells

    They jingle! They jangle! There’s no other reason for them to exist! Put sleigh bells on your Christmas song, okay?

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    Use all the things in this year’s songs that other people used in last year’s. The Christmas public don’t want surprises. They want snowflakes, reindeer and Shane MacGowan! Save your experimental phase for the long dark month of January – you’ll need something to do.

Watch 'Zombie Christmas' by Emmy The Great

'Zombie Christmas' by Emmy The Great and Tim Wheeler is out now.