Colbert

Colbert – a brasserie named after the vivacious 1930s French actress Claudette Colbert – is set on Chelsea’s very smart Sloane Square. That prime location means this place will never be empty. Whether they’re ushering in a constant stream of people for a proper sit-down meal (usually the more mature crowd), or a casual drink out front, the pretty hostesses revel in telling you how very full and busy they are. No reservation? You’ll be filtered through to the bar.

The interior does a fairly convincing impression of a French brasserie, complete with chessboard tiles, faux-aged photographs, red leather banquettes and starched linen tablecloths, all reminiscent of a Champs-Élysées type of touristy café. Perfect for tourists coming in for a post-shop bev from the King’s Road.

There were some highlights: specifically, the moreish mini bread-baton nibbles served on entry; still-warm and perfectly crunchy, and accompanied by salty butter. And a set of savoury madeleines (ask for an extra lashing of béarnaise sauce) were full of herby, melt-in-your-mouth goodness.

But the culinary experience could, at times, be underwhelming. Most notably: very expensive meaty cuts which were served at room-temperature, pink in the middle, and greyish-brown everywhere else. Forget the meat, though, as you can probably build your own meal out of the sides – think creamy pommes purée and extra-crunchy green beans. And to end, at least Colbert’s salted caramel ice cream – with the perfect ratio of salt and caramel, and mouthfuls of a dressed up lemon meringue sundae – made for some very sweet dreams.