Ted Baker Ottoman Lounge

Thank god for the Turkish – making men feel relaxed about vanity for 500 years and counting. This basement grooming room brings the tricks of the ancient hamaam to Holborn, with a range of treatments for men that don't want to compromise their inner lad.

The most basic package, the 'Cut A Dash', costs £60 for a haircut and a hot-towel shave. The cut was excellent – a pleasing balance of trendy with dapper – while the shave was a luxury but not a life-changing experience.

A facial at a further £60 was a revelation though – so physical and hands-on that it required a brief medical Q&A before starting. As well as a pore-opening steam, an exfoliating scrub and a silicon face mask, some stiff female hands got to grips with the muscles in my neck and shoulders that left me pummelled but gleefully de-knotted.

In keeping with the mood of the area, the room is upscale but strictly about business. Eschewing the more genteel, neck-first manner of washing hair in a sink, here, they dunk you face first for a no-nonsense lather that's at best speedy, and at worst, slightly reminiscent of water boarding. It's all part of the laddish charm though, at a treatment room that's perfect for wide boys and pretty boys alike.