Unique things to do in London

It looks more like a psytrance rave, but a Neon Naked life drawing session is actually an experiment in light, texture and movement. Expect models adorned in glorious neon accessories and body paint, throwing different poses for you to capture. Keen drawers – and there’s no experience necessary btw – are encouraged to experiment with different techniques, like line-drawing and pointillism using neon paint. Trippy. 

Ready for tales of murder, torture and other foul deeds? They're all brought to life on a tour of London’s horrible past in scary but seriously funny style. There's a stonking variety of scenery, smells, rides and atmospheric lighting to make you feel like you’ve left the twenty-first century behind.

The appeal of a sleepover in (well, next to) the lion enclosure is obvious: it’ll be like living in the real-life ‘Jungle Book’. Hire a lodge, enjoy private guided tours around and get exclusive access to animal enclosures after hours. A two-course dinner and buffet breakfast are included, so you won’t have to worry about your rumbling stomach waking up the neighbours. 

The stretch of the Thames between Putney and Hampton Court contains several strange surprises, one of which is a number of small islands dotted along the watercourse. One of the best-known (and biggest) of these is Eel Pie Island. First finding fame as the site of blues gigs in the ’60s, and then for its recording studio, it’s now got its own nature reserve and a collection of artists’ studios. Keep your eyes peeled for Eel Pie’s open days when you’ll get the chance to visit this privately owned Thames delight.

Welcome to full-throttle ’80s front-room fetishism, with cocktail menus hidden inside Charles ’n’ Diana memorabilia books, mocktails served in leopard-print mugs, soap stars in photo frames and cat-covered cushions galore. Little Nan’s Bar was set up in honour of owner Tristan’s late grandmother, who made it to 104. Expect leopard print, china and Pat references aplenty.

Down a perfectly normal-looking street in East Dulwich you'll find a perfectly not-normal-looking abode. Taking the concept of one man's trash being another man’s treasure, artist Stephen Wright is in the process of covering every available surface of this home in his kitschy mosaics. Everything here comes together in a magical hideaway that’s periodically open to the public, generally on the last Saturday of the month.

Want a divorce? Fancy a cheap holiday? Need to launder money or lose weight? All these things and many others can be achieved for the modest outlay of a pound (sometimes two) at the nutty slot machines of Novelty Automation in a small shabby space behind a Bloomsbury shopfront. Once displayed in Covent Garden’s Apple Market, these lovingly crafted moving sculptures are almost all the work of cartoonist Tim Hunkin. 

This London 2012 Olympic Games venue is open to the public for adrenaline-fuelled white-water rafting, canoeing and kayaking sessions – riding the rapids that challenged the world’s best makes for an action-packed experience. On the centre’s raft adventure, you’ll be high-siding, spinning and nose-dunking on the Olympic Standard Competition course before you know it.

God’s Own Junkyard showcases neon artist Chris Bracey’s personal collection of work in a salvage yard in Walthamstow. It contains everything from his signage for Soho sex clubs in the ’60s to his work for the movie industry, including pieces that were used in ‘Captain America’, ‘Eyes Wide Shut’, ‘Byzantium’ and more. Once you’re done being dazzled, you can grab drinks and snacks at the yard’s Rolling Scones Cafe (lolz).

Take a guided walk at low tide around Deptford Creek, one of the last natural creeks to survive in the UK. The post-industrial area is a haven for freshwater and saltwater plants and animals including birds and butterflies, and a huge range of wild flowers. Walks last two hours, cost £15, and booking is essential. 

The Grade II-listed former Victorian waste water pumping station Walthamstow Pumphouse stopped sloshing around sewage a while ago and is now home to something far more palatable. Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday, it's home to Latin American supper clubs where you can feast on a six-course tasting menu in a vintage tube carriage. Dimmed lights, an atmospheric soundtrack, and dishes from Mexico to Patagonia set the tone for a memorable night on the rails.

This tiny family-run Battersea museum is a neat-as-a-pin tribute to the sewing machine, which opens on the first Saturday of each month. It houses the collection of Ray Rushton, which includes a replica of his father's sewing machine shop, and 600 gleaming examples of his wares, dating from 1829 to 1950. Look out for the star exhibit: a machine which belonged to Queen Victoria's daughter.

The ten rooms of this ornate Huguenot house have been decked out to recreate snapshots of life in Spitalfields between 1724 and 1914. A tour through the ‘still-life drama’, as American creator Dennis Severs put it, takes you through the cellar, kitchen, dining room, smoking room and upstairs to the bedrooms. Tours take place four days a week: opt for one of the silent candlelit visits on Friday nights for maximum historic atmosphere.

When he wasn’t designing notable buildings (among them the original Bank of England), Sir John Soane (1753-1837) obsessively collected art, furniture and architectural ornamentation. In the nineteenth century, he turned his house into a museum to which, he said, ‘amateurs and students’ should have access. That’ll be us then. The result is this amazing place in central London, open Wednesday through Sunday, which is completely free to visit. 

Kayak down the Thames in a bovine boat as part of Moo's Canoes's watery sightseeing tours. A two- or three-person vessel decorated with a black-and-white cow print will be your mode of transport. There are several waterway routes you can pick from, including Hackney Wick or around Limehouse Basin, and some come with meal stops for hungry canoers. 

This tiny Mare Street curiosity shop is both on the art circuit and determinedly off any beaten track. Peek through the windows of the Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities and you’ll see a world in which velvet-cloaked Victorians, or perhaps The Mighty Boosh, might reside. Entering the shop, which is also the spiritual home of the esoterically minded Last Tuesday Society, reveals a plethora of shells, skulls, taxidermy specimens and assorted oddities. 

Gorilla Circus's flying trapeze school sets up camp on the north-west side of Regent’s Park for the summer with expert acrobats teaching all sorts of fancy tricks on the highly strung bars. Even beginners aim to be ‘caught’ by the hands of a (trustworthy) instructor by the end of a two-hour session. 

Are you a sucker for a pretty plate decked out with delicate herbs or dabs of coulis? Learn to focus on what really matters at Dans le Noir?, an Islington restaurant where you eat in complete darkness, putting all the focus on the taste, smell and texture of the food. Before being led into the pitch-black basement by the restaurant’s blind waiters, you select one of four colour-coded mystery menus. The best part? If you spill anything down your top, no one’s going to notice. 

An entire museum dedicated to a coquettish cooling method? We are a fan. This beautiful building is the world’s first museum dedicated to the history of handheld fans and the craft of fan-making. Housed in a pair of newly restored Georgian townhouses, it holds more than 3,000 specimens from all over the world, some dating back to the eleventh century. Entry costs just £5, and it's just on the edge of Greenwich Park for a picturesque stroll afterwards.

The proposition of a drink in a public loo has never been a very appealing one. That was until WC opened up inside an old toilet in Clapham. But don’t be put off your Martini: not only is it surprisingly beautiful, it’s – dare we say it – romantic. Spend a penny on a well-curated wine list and a selection of cheese and charcuterie. WC, geddit?

There’s a wonderful world to discover below ground level, and we’re not talking about the tube. The Roman Temple of Mithras lay hidden for around 2,000 years before it was rediscovered in central London. Now, it’s preserved in a state-of-the-art museum, where visitors can ogle some of the exquisite artefacts that were left or lost by the very first Londoners. Look out for the ancient Oyster cards carved in marble… kidding.   

A few years back, The Cheese Bar made all our dreams come true when it opened a cheese conveyor belt restaurant in the West End, and we are forever thankful for it. It’s just as you hope it’ll be and more: an unending supply of quality, artisan cheese dishes gliding around a shared dining table. Plates start from around £3.95 – you’re in for gouda times. 

Know the Burger King at Euston like the back of your hand? Maybe it’s time to explore what lies beneath it with one of London Transport Museum's special tours. There is a labyrinth of dark passageways that have been concealed for more than 50 years – many of them with perfectly preserved mid-century design. Book on to a tour and fall in love with these dank and grimy relics of old London. 

The dimly lit tunnels of Leake Street link the South Bank area to Lower Marsh, creating an edgy subterranean gallery of street art. Look closely and you might spot a Banksy. Or just soak up the atmosphere and get mildly, enjoyably high off the fug of aerosol fumes.  

Imagine passing a kidney stone the size of a mango. Not only did it really happen, but the folks at the Science Museum got their hands on it to show in their Medicine gallery. The speckled display wall looks rather beautiful from afar. Then you get up close and realise it's made up of hundreds of urinary and gall stones which have been removed from the human body. Nice. 

Ah, oysters. The height of sophistication, right? Well, they were considered peasant food in London in ye olde days, served up on street corners as snacks. Today, they’re enjoying a renaissance thanks to a foodie boom and their fab sustainability credentials. With that in mind, there’s no need to be intimidated. Bentley’s Oyster Masterclass is one of the best in the biz: eat a load of oysters and master shucking for £75, which includes a glass of champers. That’s worth shelling out for.