Our city is divided. Yesterday, the Miami Herald, presumably as punishment for breaking the printer, sent a reporter out to cover a new—and slightly unnerving—culinary invention: the croqueta cake.
It is, sadly, exactly what it sounds like. And this product of Hialeah ingenuity has taste buds around the city sincerely confused. It all comes courtesy of Breadman Miami Bakery, a Miami-born bakery that is, depending on your gustatory disposition, either home to the culinary geniuses this city needs or crazed pastry scientists who are drunk with power.
A little about the cake, in case you haven’t made up your mind yet. The three-layer cake has a Nutella filling and vanilla icing. It looks simple (and tasty) enough—until Breadman finishes the whole thing with an outer layer of 100 croquetas, which tends to cause people to lose their absolute shit.
Okay, there’s a croqueta cake and I’m here for this
— Chris Naranjo (@chrismnaranjo_) February 20, 2018
The croqueta cake inventor, Andy Herrera, told the Herald he has sold more than 40 of these bad boys for $56 each.
Don’t get me wrong i love croquetas, especially a croqueta sandwich... but a croqueta cake... that’s just nasty lol https://t.co/7FUzHpQcuq
— LongLive (@Obeyxjosh07) February 20, 2018
Some, no doubt, will never accept the croqueta cake into their lives. But we're willing to bet at least 17 of you animals already have your credit cards out. We won't judge—and, also, could you save us a slice, please?
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