The Narrows

Italian-American tough guy Mike (Zegers) is secretly a sensitive soul who takes haunting photographs. He’s torn between his Brooklyn neighborhood roots, represented by his gloriously trashy girlfriend (Keena), and “a better life,” represented by a hot college girl (Bush) from Manhattan. Imagine Mean Streets with less grit, unconvincing casting and none of Scorsese’s tortured Catholic guilt. You can fill in the rest of the plot yourself; in fact, you’ll probably come up with something better.