Invite gone out

On Wed 27, after six years of selling out Rififi and fueling the downtown scene, Eugene Mirman and Bobby Tisdale’s Invite Them Up is closing for good. We’ve asked our favorite guests to eulogize; this final installment features David Cross.

Can you share one of your favorite memories?
I was in court for a trespassing charge, so I was wearing a suit. I forgot about the show and went straight to a bar after court. Eugene called to find out where the hell I was; I apologized and rushed over. And because all I’d eaten was half a Jamaican patty, I was well on my way to drunk. I ran in and was almost immediately introduced. I realized too late that I didn’t really have any material ready, so I rambled about being in court and the stupidity of breaking into a church to steal a confessional booth. But no one was interested and I wasn’t being funny. After a couple of minutes, a guy in the audience (who turned out to be a college buddy of Eugene’s) yelled, “You’re drunk!” I couldn’t really deny it so I went with it. I made some comment about pissing myself for their entertainment. Stupid mistake! Everyone started chanting for me to piss myself, and I kept egging them on. I told them I’d only do it if they let me pull my nut sack out. Without waiting for an answer, I pulled my nuts through my fly and pissed my nice suit pants. I thought it would be a triumphant moment, but it was just ridiculous and uncomfortable. In a vain attempt to prove I was cool, I decided to stay and hang out with my piss-stained suit pants and balls exposed. Another bad idea—I burned them on the radiator.

Jane Broden

Invite Them Up closes with three shows: Mon 25, Tue 26 and Wed 27.