Aspen report: Day 3


I'm only now noticing that there has been a dearth of Aspen-is-white-and-rich jokes. That is not to say there have been none—Mike DeStefano scored with "I had a homeless joke, but I can't pretend like it happened here"—it's just that, typically, they're ubiquitous and overused. One wonders if, out of deference to the generous locals who host us all each year and spend money to see the shows, comics had a change of sarcastic heart and decided to let it go.

But last night, a group of locals showed their ugly side. The Person of the Year Award event, featuring Stephen Colbert, was a madhouse. To quote my former roommate, who now lives in Aspen and came to the Q&A with me, "I feel like I'm in New York...people are being really aggro." Aggro indeed; in fact they were vicsh: pushing, screaming and clamoring to get beyond the banquet-hall doors.

To be fair, the festival oversold the show. And since some tickets went for hundreds of dollars, the shut-out recipients were understandably peeved, or, you know, totally pugnashe.

That is how 60-year-old men in diamond-studded cowboy boots came to scream bloody murder at the poor, young, sweating ticket takers, who could only offer them standing room in the lobby where they could watch via video screen. And that is how these men and their mink-festooned, plastic-surgery--augmented wives came to get shit-faced at the lobby bar and talk back to the screen throughout the event: "Whatever, he's not even that funny," "This is stupid," "I never liked the show anyway." According to one man's rant, he spent $650 for a ticket, which is definitely the record for most money spent on sour grapes.