Gossip Girl, Season 2: "Chuck in Real Life"

Don't ask us what that title really means. None of this feels remotely like real life—and we're totally fine with that. But can we admit to a case of the "mehs" this week? There, we said it.

Josh: so no real clues as to who's getting axed, huh?
Amy: i still think it could be bart.
J: agreed. there is that line he says, right to camera: "i'm in it for the long haul."
A: dun dun DUUUUNNN
J: it would be a shock to me if it wasn't him. i mean i realize we're talking about a human life, but plot plot plot.
A: ha. a “human life.” it's not like we want the actor to die. meanwhile, my favorite GG moment ever: they're ostracizing the girl who committed some egregious horror against the steps crew, and blair yells, "TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!" if you only knew my hatred of tights-as-pants, josh.

J: i've never seen you in any, so it's all making sense.
A: oh, and they introduced eric's boyfriend!
J: yawn. kind of a noncharacter, no? also, why is eric always so wise? advising serena to give the family a shot; advising lily to not go from "zero to brady" (nice line).
A: he's way too reasonable for a 15-year-old boy.
J: okay. something weird is happening to me regarding blair these days.
A: talk to me.
J: whenever i see her, i…feel really bad for her. even when she's scheming or skulking around. she's no longer powerful, but a victim.
A: a victim of what, though?
J: it's like: oh, no. what are you going to do now that's going to make it even worse for yourself, blair?
A: i feel bad for her too, but at the same time, i wish she would grow up.
J: seriously, i'm like pavlov's dog if that dog pouted instead of drooled. i see blair and i feel awful.
A: if she would only realize that being the queen bee isn’t everything—although this is gossip girl, the magical fairytale land where poor is bad and rich is good and 17-year-old girls somehow have expensive, fancy underpants.
J: or not. or, as serena says, "oops, i forgot to wear underwear.” who says that to a stepfather?
A: that felt pretty creepy.
J: this episode was the closest to cruel intentions of any of them. the sexual "bet" that backfires, the lounging around in pajamas, etc.
A: totally. the whole time, the hubs and i were like, "where's sarah michelle gellar?”
J: and can we put a moratorium on bromance?
A: hate it. like manscape or brangelina.
J: why was is the key dan/nate scene off camera? (when he gets him to come back home)
A: would it have added anything?
J: dan is so sanctimonious, so any opportunity to see him being honestly nice would help.
A: well, that's true.
J: so Brooklyn Inn in da house. three blocks from my apt.
A: seriously?
J: yeah. hoyt and bergen. it's a cool bar.
A: is it actually called the brooklyn inn?
J: yup. a madhouse on weekends. but i was there with a friend several months ago on a weeknight and we practically had the whole bar to ourselves.
A: well, expect it to be crazee now.
J: we'll have to fight off vanessas. k. the episode, overall?
A: kind of meh.
J: why?
A: it felt…boring.
J: not the feeling you want from GG. ultimately, all this chuck/blair “you will never have me” stuff is weird because, well, didn't he already have her? twice?
A: and now he wants to be chased?
J: i don't pretend to understand. even typing this up feels meh.
A: we need a gossip girl intern.
J: any takers, people? we really do.