Gossip Girl, Season 2: "In the Realm of the Basses"

gossipgirlAnd so, after what feels like a spell of the cruelest non-celeb-rehab in weeks (no new episode for virtually a month!), we return to our weekly fix. Immediately, we are thrown into a world of incest, opium dens, hash joints in the principal's office, demeaning shoe-wiping rituals, incest and incest.

Josh: weren't u saying "omg omg omg" after this one?
Amy: really dark.
J: like, almost-not-prime-time dark.
A: i really enjoyed it.
J: easily the most sophisticated episode to date.
A: well, the guy who plays our new villain, jack bass, was on dexter, so blame him.
J: the writers seem to have recaptured something key: first of all, the return of bitchiness.
A: although, interestingly, not from blair.
J: yes. lots of scheming, but blair has seemingly outgrown it.
A: i actually kind of enjoyed the new, somewhat-grown-up blair.
J: her big cry in front of the mirror was not only the episode's best acting, but the show's most direct nod to dangerous liaisons.
A: missed that nod. but yes, some fine acting from ms. meester.
J: i'll say it here, without fear of reprisals: blair is the show's true heroine. she saves chuck's life and pulls a bona fide jane austen on those stuck-up colony bitches.
A: true. but what's going to happen when chuck finds out that something rotten happened on new year's?
J: blair is a secret slut.
A: meanwhile, rufus's righteous indignation over the adoption, while slightly understandable, is annoying.
J: did he actually cry on this show?
A: i think so.
J: "i was going to be a rock star." riiight. also, i have a hard time believing lily could keep the adoption a secret for so long.
A: well, if her family can buy people off...
J: but amy, doesn't lily see her daughter dating dan in season one? shouldn't she have said something at that point? ICK.
A: like icky? or is that an acronym?
J: "hmm, my daughter is dating a boy who she actually shares a half brother with. how curious."
A: but it's not as if they share DNA.
J: you upper-east-siders and your lax values.
A: what if the baby turned out to be aaron rose? seriously, he's emo and annoying and has terrible facial hair. he could totally be rufus's child.
J: r u okay with serena and dan back together?
A: they're kind of boring together. i feel it was only done to create drama with the whole half-sibling revelation.
J: this ep felt very john hughes to me.
A: i could see that. still, it's almost too dark: is suicide and twirling on a rooftop something that was ever in a hughes movie?
J: are you suggesting it's better than hughes? because i could go there.
A: you can't compare middle-class midwestern kids to rich manhattanites; the experiences, while similar in that uniquely teenage way, are still too different. judd nelson would never have hired hookers and smoked a bunch of opium.
J: I mean hughes in how boldly fake the show allowed itself to get. did you ever see Rules of Attraction?
A: i did! i really liked that movie.
J: it's essentially what we have here: a very dire, heightened teenage feel. very bret easton ellis.
A: aha. or, if you want to get closer to what i think are its truer predecessors, very soap opera.
J: i think serena has to do something really bad now.
A: didn't you hear? georgina comes back at the end of the season.
A: http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/01/gossip-exclusiv.html
J: joy! she's the real spirit of GG. georgina and characters like agnes and penelope.
A: right.
J: the real fuckups, selling their show ponies for cocaine. the show has been way too nice lately.
A: aww, i like it nice!
J: brace yourself.
A: and where the heck was nate, while his ostensible best friend was having a major crisis?
J: nate goes AWOL in the most interesting eps. when nate is not around, everything goes crazy.
A: do you think rufus and lily will end up finding the baby?
J: yes. and it will be someone that we already know.
A: i'm telling you: aaron. we'll find out that he was adopted by cyrus (who needs to come back) and bam—there's your love child.
J: but that's SO gross. like her parents would not tell serena to stop sleeping with these particular boys?
A: i guess. it's all so confusing. it helps that we'd had a few weeks off.