In the bathroom

[fighting the urge to title this post "You gonna flush that?... fighting it so so hard]



Occasionally, mysterious products appear in the TONY office bathrooms, like the two orphaned bottles of Love's Baby Soft that kept popping up in the handicapped bathroom circa 2005 (lending it a smell circa 1982). It's assumed these migrate bathroomward from the Check Out department, seeing as that section gets all kinds of beauty products on a regular basis. You can barely pass that row without walking away looking like strumpet, a harlot, a painted lady—coated in next season's cosmetics. I made that up.

Anyway, today the above magnificent liquid hand soap for the body (as opposed to hand soap for the what, face? do they make that? and why call it hand soap?) appeared in the smaller of the two private latrines, filling the space with a scent not unlike mango and white sugar, which incidentally is what it says on the label. Okay, to be honest I didn't really smell the white sugar, nor really the mango—but I just know it smelled good. And this is a bathroom we're talking about. I mean, I actually enjoyed the smell of the bathroom. I'd give the bathroom smell five out of a possible six stars. And for that I say: Mysterious soap, you're all right.

Meanwhile, in the handicapped bathroom: TWO SOAPS AND A HOME SPRAY