Let it sew

Stop bitching and start stitching.

Husqvarna Viking Sapphire 870 Quilt, $2,299

As a child, you sat patiently at your grandmother’s side for afternoons on end while she taught you the gentle art of quilting and, perhaps, the gentle art of friendship. Yeah, right. For those of us who would rather give granny the boot, this high-end quilters’ tool is equipped with the brilliant digital Sewing Advisor feature. Simply enter the type of fabric you’re using and the desired technique, and the machine selects the best stitch, stitch length and width, and sewing speed to deliver your spanking-new family heirloom in no time. For more info, go to husqvarnaviking.com.

Brother Innov-Ís 40 Project Runway Limited Edition, $300

Sure, you can achieve superfan status by shelling out for the Bravo reality show’s official sewing machine. But if you’re someone who normally turns her nose up at cunning marketing ploys, the Brother—unlike regular product tie-ins that, you know, suck—is more than a way for the company to cash in on season four’s fashion-forward freaks. The glossy white machine comes with dozens of preprogrammed decorative patterns, which can be conjured via the pink selection dial. Note: The Brother probably can’t stitch trash bags, so you’re on your own to make it work. For more info, go to brother-usa.com.

Singer Confidence 7470, $599

As sure as the ocean is wet, beginners suck at sewing. But before you throw out your pins, this amateur’s best friend has got your back—or rather, your sore fingers. Step-by-step instructions teach you how to thread the Singer in six seconds; patterns can be mirror-imaged with the push of a button; and sound and visual cues alert you when you go astray. For more info, go to singerco.com.

Pfaff Creative Vision, $8,499

Like a Michael Bay blockbuster, this German gadget is big, bloated, expensive and mindlessly entertaining. This Pfaff sports the largest stitching area for embroidering on the market, giving you plenty of elbow room to monogram a tablecloth. It will automatically create patterns from clip art, family photos, and other elements you create and edit with the stylus-and-color touch screen. That’s right: automatically. The robots are coming, folks, and they’re crafty as hell. For more info, go to pfaffusa.com.