Lip shtick

These lipglosses will change your life-at least that's what they claim.

Photographs by Stephanie Gussin

CoverGirl Wetslicks Amazemint, $6, at Walgreens
(locations throughout the city; go to for info) While I’m almost positive this gloss is incapable of replacing your morning dental regimen, having the minty-scented goop on your lips is sure to at least mask a less-than-pleasant odor. I thought this gloss would be superdrying because of the mint, but it’s not. The real reason I love it is because it’s extremely smooth, not the gooey, sticky kind that glues your lips together. Verdict: Don’t throw out the Listerine just yet, but this may be useful if you’re in a stinky bind.—CM

It Cosmetics My Youthful Smile, $32, at
My Youthful Smile promises to pump up your pout and give the appearance of a whiter smile. I globbed it on and waited for results. The minty smell was nice, but aside from that, it reminded me of lipgloss I would wear in middle school—completely clear and glaringly glossy (not a good look). I guess Angelina Jolie lips aren’t in my future.—RL

IsaDora Pump ’n Plump, $18, at
Glosses that promise to plump tend to scare me. I want pouty lips as much as the next girl, but at the same time, I don’t want them to feel like they’ve been marinated in chili powder. Once on, the Pump ’n Plump had a delicious sugary taste, and the sticky bare nougat tint did wonders for my complexion. And shockingly, there was no burning sensation—though I’m not sure how much plumping there was either.—LF

Lipstamp, $24.95, at
I’m more of a Chap Stick kind of girl, so the ins and outs of lipstick are foreign to me—including the proper way to apply it. Enter Lipstamp: a lip-shaped stamp that touts professional results in seconds. Following the directions, I picked a sponge shape that best resembled my pout—Bow Dacious!—and stuck it onto the applicator. I then applied a pearly pink lipstick to the pad, which was fun, but I used at least a quarter of the stick. I puckered up and stamped away. The result was lipstick in some weird places (up by my nose?) and not where it should be (the outside edges?). I may not know much, but I know this can’t be the best solution.—LF

Huge Lips, Skinny Hips, $20, at
I’m probably in the minority here, but I don’t really have a problem with my hips. I do, however, have a major problem with my snacking; I’m a guppy. It doesn’t matter what it is, so long as it’s vegetarian, I want to put it in my mouth. So a lipgloss that supposedly curbs your appetite (thanks to an infusion of Hoodia Gordonii Extract) sounded like just the thing to stop me from stuffing those M&M’s into my piehole. I put it on and felt a mentholated tingle (thanks to vitamin B3, which “stimulates blood flow, diminishes the appearance of unsightly wrinkles and comfortably creates a plumping effect”), but my sweet and savory cravings were not suppressed in the slightest. In fact, the Lychee Martini flavor that I tried smelled so good that I wanted to eat it. My lips looked slick and slightly plumper, but my hips, well, they’re the same old, same old.—EW

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