Putting on the blitz

Most New Yorkers remember where they were on January 27, 1991, when backup quarterback Jeff Hostetler-filling in for an injured Phil Simms-led the Giants to victory over the luckless Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXV. All Super Bowls should be so memorable: Do your part, by supplying all the gear and grub for a perfect Sunday.

FOOD


In the event of a blowout, make sure you have plenty for bored guests to eat. S’MAC (smacnyc.com) makes myriad types of mac and cheese—from the traditional All-American ($30 for a platter that feeds 8–12) to Buffalo Chicken ($50). For more straightforward football fare, hit up Whole Foods (wholefoodsmarket.com) for plates of buffalo, bourbon BBQ, teriyaki or ultimate wings ($8 per lb). And the lack of Asian players in the NFL doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the greatest edible treasure to come out of the East. Rickshaw Dumpling Bar (rickshawdumplings.com) serves 45 perfect dumplings on a platter, with choices of chicken, pork, Thai basil, Peking duck, shrimp or vegetarian ($33). Then impress your guests with a stunning dessert worthy of Stephen Baker “The Touchdown Maker”—a gridiron-shaped cake. It’s like those old vibrating electric football games, but you can eat the turf. This masterpiece is custom-made at Cakes ’N Shapes (cakesnshapes.com, $260 for 13" x 18"). However, if you’re one of the few still sticking to your New Year’s resolutions, foodtrainers.com suggests substituting shrimp cocktails for wings (25 calories each, versus 350 calories for a wing dipped in blue cheese dip), and chowing on pistachios rather than Chex Mix: Shelling slows you down. A slice of thin-crust pizza with vegetable toppings is half the caloric intake of a regular slice with pepperoni (under 210 for the former). Someone is bound to rag on you but, hey, do you want to look like Shaun O’Hara or Plaxico Burress?

DRINKS


Yes, we all love the G-men, but that affection is not unconditional; it is directly proportional to how drunk we are. Finger food or no, nobody’s sticking around at your party if you run out of beer. B & E Quality Beverages (212-243-6812) makes up for their lack of kegs with $20 cases of Bud cans that can be magically delivered—as if on the wings of an Eli Manning spiral—anywhere in Manhattan, Queens or Brooklyn. Those wishing to kick it frat-style can dial up New York Beverage Wholesalers (212-831-4000), a Manhattan supplier of quality kegs. Bud goes for $95 (extra $12 for the tap) not including the deposit—a small price to pay to keep friends at your party (unless said friends are Pats fans). Thrifty Beverage (718-278-1500) in Astoria delivers in Queens and Manhattan, but their kegs are pick-up only. Good luck rolling that on the subway, sucker.

TV


In this day and age, it is completely inexcusable to have a Super Bowl party without an obnoxiously big television. John Madden circling random bits on the Telestrator doesn’t make much sense no matter what size your TV is, so you might as well splurge on renting a projector and screen ($195/day) or a 40-inch flat-screen ($395/day) from ATD Audio Video Rentals (tycorentals.com, 212-759-0946). With one of these sweet babies taking up the entire wall, guests will feel like they can lick the sweat off Strahan’s gap-tooth game face.

CHEERLEADER


Didn’t get to hang with the cheerleaders in high school? Neither did we. At your request, the blonde and perky April, from Big Apple Singing Telegrams (singingtelegramsnyc.com, 212-234-7006) will don a cheerleader’s uniform and bounce around your apartment doing high kicks and cheers ($159). There is always the chance that your humorless girlfriend will not appreciate April’s irrepressible exuberance. Surprise your young lady with cheerleading workout DVDs so she can inspire the same joy and pep as the professionals. Cheer Like a Pro is available at iefit.com; amazon.com offers instructional installments such as Cheerleading Unleashed.

PARTY FAVORS


Attention frontrunners, disgruntled Jets fans and Tiki Barber: Champs Sports (800-991-6813, champssports.com for locations) carries all of the gear you need to look true-Blue. Reebok Eli Manning jerseys ($100), a Giants classic hoodie ($80) and Giants caps ($25) are all available, so you can show your undeviating love (ahem) for Tom Coughlin’s crew. If you’ve prepared properly for this shining moment in Giants history (and we know you have), the Giants football-print beer-can holder ($20 from cbssports.com) and the ridiculous—but always necessary—foam finger (foamhands.com, 800-237-5172, $15 for three) should already be at your apartment, right? Now it looks like your blood is truly Blue.