3 New York celebrities to silence with Twitter’s new "mute" function

If it’s too much effort to just, y’know, unfollow them

Photograph: AF archive / Alamy

In “do we really need this?” news, Twitter is rolling out a mute function, for silencing  tweeters who are grating on your nerves (but who you don’t want to commit to unfollowing, we guess?). And while we’re dubious about the usability of the function, that didn’t stop us from coming up with a list of the three most mutable celeb tweeters around.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwynnie. We love you, we hate you, we love to hate you and hate that we love you. You, miss, are that rare combination of incredibly obnoxious but also not-at-all self-aware, which gives you (and your tweets) an air of self-seriousness rarely found in nature. Everything about Her Goopiness is otherworldy fabulous, and her Twitter is no exception: photos of Gwyneth sitting on a beautiful wood floor pulling on a pair of boots, singing impromptu backup on music royalty Holly Williams’s (as in Hank) tour, feigning awkwardness and discomfort standing next to a huge blown-up portrait of herself. Is there anything she can’t do? Reading GP’s tweets just makes us feel bad about ourselves, so it’s Mute City for this gal.
Alec Baldwin
Jack Donaghy, you will always be our homeboy. But few New Yorkers have been as much in need of a muzzle as Baldwin, who is his own worst enemy when it comes to talking about, well, everything. He’s gotten in trouble on the Interwebs and off (he was arrested just this morning after riding his bike against traffic), and at press time, his latest tweet, at user @patientdoctor (who has just 89 followers), was, “Tony…you’re a douche.” Way to keep it classy, dude.
Lindsay Lohan
Our prodigal Long Island daughter is back on home turf, (hopefully) staying out of trouble under the watchful gaze of Queen Oprah and without the irresistible allure of L.A. unseemliness. To that end, LiLo’s tweets are…kind of a snoozefest. Retweets, shout-outs to her (sort of) famous friends, obviously shilling paid-for endorsements (à la the Kim Kardashian model of tweeting).… Look, if less-than-stellar posts are a symptom of our favorite New York Mean Girl being back on the straight and narrow, then that’s a trade-off we’re willing to take, but we’re sorry, Linds, we’re going to have to mute you.

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Editor: Marley Lynch (@marleyasinbob)


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