50 best things to do when you're high

These venues and events don't condone drug use-hell, they don't even know we're writing this story. Oh, and drugs are bad for you. Don't use them.

Photograph: Pamela Littky

"Free your mind" at a Kid Cudi concert
On April 1, "lonely stoner" Kid Cudi announced his retirement from indulging in ganja via his Tumblr page. Take a hit for the newly sober guy, then drop by the Roseland Ballroom to see him perform live on—ironically—April 20. Roseland Ballroom, 239 W 52nd St between Broadway and Eighth Ave (212-247-0200, roselandballroom.com). Apr 20--22 8pm; $49.50--$125.

Pig out at the Big Apple BBQ Block Party
If there's anything better than chewing on some spicy, tangy, sloppy, meaty BBQ, you need to let us know. But since we're reasonably sure there isn't, put this annual foodfest on your to-do list; it's a weekend-long celebration of indulgence featuring the country's top pitmasters. Madison Square Park, Broadway at 23rd St (646-747-0584, bigapplebbq.org). June 11, 12 11am--6pm. Free admission, plates of BBQ $8 each.

Zone out at Walter De Maria's The Broken Kilometer
For a total head trip, try counting 500 polished brass rods lined up in increasingly spaced-out parallel rows on the floor of an otherwise empty room. De Maria's art installation has been on view in a dedicated space since 1979, serving as one of the city's largest optical illusions. 393 West Broadway between Broome and Spring Sts (212-989-5566, diaart.org). Wed--Sun noon--3pm, 3:30--6pm; free.

Smoke up at a hookah bar
The city is full of public places where you can blaze without breaking the law, even if it is merely flavored tobacco. Orange-hued Sultana Cafe (128 E 4th St between First and Second Aves; 212-228-7678; Mon--Fri 6pm--2am; Sat, Sun 5pm--4am) offers 30 different flavors of shisha ($18), as well as desserts like Red Velvet Cake ($7.95) for your grumbling tummy. For a place to puff nicotine along with your shisha, try Karma (51 First Ave between 3rd and 4th Sts; 212-677-3160, karmanyc.com; 1pm--4am), one of the last NYC joints to allow cigarette smoking indoors. Enjoy a vodka-infused Milky Way cocktail ($10) as your boggled mind gets a load of the heavy-duty purifiers that make the smoke haven, well, smokeless.

Browse the new vendors at Brooklyn Flea

Get some fresh air while you lazily pick through Jimmy D'Amico's rare LP collection or peruse Phil Fehr's amassed vintage comic books and sports cards, both at the Sunday market in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Too much effort? A glazed treat from Clinton Hill doughnut shop Dough ($2) or a gourmet hot dog from Brooklyn Bangers ($4) will give you the fuel to keep going. You can also chill out on the vintage furniture in the Brooklyn Art Library's "reading room". Saturdays: Bishop Loughlin Memorial High School, Lafayette Ave between Clermont and Vanderbilt Aves, Fort Greene, Brooklyn. 10am--5pm. * Sundays: 27 North 6th St between Kent Ave and the East River, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 10am--5pm. * brooklynflea.com.

Sate your munchies at the Hester Street Fair
The Flea might be perfect for dazed wandering, but like you, this LES market has its mind on its tummy and its tummy on its mind. Joining the more than 50 vendors is seafood master Luke's Lobster, dishing out rolls stuffed with shrimp, crab and lobster fresh from the coast of Maine ($8--$15). Other offerings include Mexican Popsicles from La NewYorkina ($3.50), chocolate from Roni-Sue's Chocolates (six piece box $18, nicklebag of mixed candy $5) and pretzels from Sigmund Pretzelshop ($3). Try to resist dipping your fingers into Herbin' Spoonful's handmade caramel sauces (two ounce jar $5), but with flavors like lavender, habanero, and chai with cardamom and cinnamon, the temptation may be too much to handle. Seward Park Cooperative, Hester St at Essex St (hesterstreetfair.com). Sat 10am--6pm. May 7--October.

Listen to your favorite Beatles hits—live
Instead of busting out your vintage copy of Abbey Road and daydreaming about seeing the legends in the flesh, do the next best thing and hear the band's songs performed live. Okay, so maybe the actors of Rain: A Tribute to the Beatles on Broadway don't quite measure up to the originals, but that'll be the last thing on your mind when you're listening to "Octopus's Garden" and staring at psychedelic backdrops. Brooks Atkinson Theatre, 256 W 47th St between Broadway and Eighth Ave (212-719-4099, raintribute.com). Through Jan 1 2012; $52--$132, premium $227.

Celebrate the high times at The Marijuana-Logues
Gramercy Theatre dedicates an evening to your favorite plant when this cannabis celebration returns to New York City. Rob Cantrell joins fellow pot enthusiasts Tony Camin and Bruce Cherry to talk about all things bud, from the pleasures to the paranoia and everything in between. Don't worry that you'll be the only one laughing like an idiot—with a performance on April 20, you're not going to be the only red-eyed member in the audience. Gramercy Theatre, 127 E 23rd St between Lexington and Park Aves (212-777-6800, themarijuanalogues.com). Apr 20 at 8pm; $20--$22.

Get enlightened at "Body Language"
In your current blissed-out condition, you might be convinced that you're spiritually awakened, but you're nowhere near reaching the cosmic plane of the yogis of Nepal. Thomas Kelly's latest photo exhibition explores the lives of these colorfully painted mystics, who have renounced their earthly possessions and social obligations in order to reach a higher state of consciousness, something you should be at least partially familiar with. Rubin Museum of Art, 150 W 17th St at Seventh Ave (212-620-5000, rmanyc.org). Mon, Thu 11am--5pm; Wed 11am--7pm; Fri 11am--10pm; Sat, Sun 11am--6pm. $10, seniors and students $5, children under 13 free. Fri 6--10pm free. Through Aug 9.

Revel in the sloppy joys of the Meatball Shop

Stoner foodstuffs are a dime a dozen in NYC, but for a truly superlative solution to your snack attack, hit up this high-concept eatery from chef Daniel Holzman (Le Bernardin) and manager Michael Chernow (Frank). Try to stay composed as you choose from six types of golf-ball-size meatballs, ordered as a slider ($3), a hero ($9) or "naked" ($7, with a side of focaccia). Five kinds of ice cream, sandwiched between your choice of freshly baked cookies, might send you over the top. And you'll soon be able to access munchie heaven on both sides of the East River: A new location in Williamsburg is opening later this spring. 84 Stanton St at Allen St (212-982-8895, themeatballshop.com). Mon--Wed, Sun noon--2am; Thu--Sat noon--4am.

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