Five things we learned at…Morgan Murphy's New York Comedy Festival show

The L.A. comic and 2 Broke Girls writer reflects on her rabid fan base, her drinking problem and missed opportunities in decade-old romantic comedies.

Morgan Murphy

Morgan Murphy Photograph: Courtesy New York Comedy Festival

Contrary to what some might suspect, Morgan Murphy is not a lesbian. She's just sad, and it reads the same. All joking aside, Murphy noted that, in fact, she has quite a few die-hard lesbian fans. They don't actually like her that much, they just all look like Bruce Willis.

Mindful of the numerous medical dangers she had been reading about, Murphy did not drink the entire time she was pregnant. Worst four days of her life.

Murphy takes exception to what she perceives as major plotholes in the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. In particular, she questions why the film spends an inordinate amount of time making Kate Hudson's character engage in annoying tactics like talking in a baby voice and bringing a plant to Matthew McConaughey's apartment, when we all know the No. 1, completely foolproof, no-doubt-about-it way to lose a guy in ten days: s**t on the floor.

Possibly the most terrible reaction to hearing someone killed himself: "Oh wow… and I thought I hated him."

At the end of her set, Murphy gave a sincere, heartfelt thanks to the entire audience at the UCB Theatre for coming out to see her. She then quickly noted that every other comedian performing that night rapes a lot.