Imagine if NYC real-estate brokers ran your local bodega

The Broker Bodega—a.k.a. our new favorite Tumblr—gives household products the scumbag broker treatment

Screenshot via The Broker Bodega

We recently discovered The Broker Bodega, and we're hooked. The hilarious Tumblr blog features standard deli items in the words of sleazy New York real-estate brokers. Thus Kleenex, mints and other run-of-the-mill items are reimagined in Craiglist brokerbabble, meaning at insanely high prices, and with hyperbolic and often false terms—like that "stunning loft in prime Williamsburg," which turned out to be a room off the Jefferson St L train with ceilings so low you couldn't stand up straight.

The blog is the work of Dan Brill, an advertising copywriter at Manhattan agency Droga5—and frustrated renter, we'd venture to guess. The best part of the website? The urgency with which the make-believe bodega brokers hawk their wares: razor blades that "will not last," orange juice you gotta "concentrate before it's too late" and a Hershey's bar you don't want to be "choco-late" for. Yeah, it's all pretty funny stuff—until you find yourself sans apartment and reaching out those shady brokers with genuine desperation.

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Editor: Marley Lynch (@marleyasinbob)

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