Improve your life in 2014, step 3: Overhaul your love life

Whether you love or hate New Year’s resolutions, there’s no better time like the present to make a life change. Find out how with our guide to improving your life in 2014.

If your New Year’s resolution was to make some changes in the New Year, good news: We picked four common dilemmas and got expert advice on how you can permanently tick them off your to-do list. Today, break out of your relationship rut with advice from Sophie Keller, author of How to Get Over a Breakup in 30 Days.

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It’s easy to nitpick the relationship foibles of others—how else has The Bachelor remained so popular?—but applying the same analysis to your own romantic troubles is more difficult. “People go after the same type of person, but with a different face, and expect a better outcome,” says Sophie Keller, author of How to Get Over a Breakup in 30 Days. Start by honestly addressing the characteristics that continually draw you in (e.g., emotional unavailability) and look for a partner whose traits are on the other end of the spectrum. But this doesn’t mean you have to start overanalyzing potential partners or living in a state of FOMO. “Running on fear doesn’t work,” says Keller. “You have to relax to open yourself to new possibilities.”

Make it happen: Married author-consultants Ariel and Shya Kane ( run regular seminars on making positive life changes (next seminar: Mon 13 7–9:30pm; $20), as well as workshops covering specific topics, such as improving your relationships. When you’re ready to find the One (or even just the Next One), there are plenty of other methods that don’t involve filling out ridiculous profiles or flicking through a mobile app: A perennial favorite is I Like Your Glasses, a semiregular literary speed-dating shindig at Housing Works Bookstore (126 Crosby St between E Houston and Prince Sts; 347-473-7400,; Feb 13 at 7pm; sold out).

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Editor: Marley Lynch (@marleyasinbob)

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