Snag your soulmate

You think destiny's gonna bring you love? You must be from the West coast. In this town we do it proactively, with good salesmanship and market savvy. Learn the latest tricks in singles marketing, starting with a word from the hottest brand in the biz: Julia Allison.

“Attention whore,” “slut with a pen,” “useless ho-bag, “Chiclet-toothed asshole,” “old, ugly and over” (at 26, no less!) and—my personal favorite—“dumber than an autistic child.” Almost immediately after I began writing a dating column several years ago, critics/bloggers tore me apart.

Why? Because I had the “audacity” to be myself—and then market it: Julia Allison™.

So begins our lightning rod of a dating columnist, in her manifesto on city coupling, 2008. Click to read her entire essay, and look below for a pointed retort.

Julia Allison blowout

Not buying Julia™: Another perspective from a less-than-bubbly TONY staffer.
Julia's market watch: The much-courted Ms. Allison reveals four personal secrets to keeping herself in high demand.
Call Julia!: Yes, that's a real working number in the photo and yes, Julia Allison is single (as of Feb 6). Click for a good look at the digits and give her a call. (Good time not guaranteed.)
Julia's voice mails: Listen to some of the sweet, clever and clearly stoned messages Julia has received.
The Julia cover, behind the scenes: View all the photos that didn't quite make the cut, plus a video that tells you all you need to know about the Allison mystique.

More tools for our beloved singles

Date our friends ...and us!: Omigod, we know someone you totally have to meet. You guys would be perfect together—why didn’t we think of this before? E-mail them now! (No dates guaranteed.)
How datable are you?: Stop blaming bad luck, poor timing and your ex for your single status. Did you ever consider that the problem might be you?
What’s your sign?: Can you tell anything about a person just by how they give their 411? Take a look and hit them up if you’re down.
New York's most respected dating brands (for women): Not to go all Breakfast Club on you, but any experienced single will be familiar with certain common personas. In this buyer-driven market, which ones are in high demand? Men, vote here.
New York's most respected dating brands (for men): Ditto, but for dudes. Ladies, vote here.
Brand and deliver: Our reporter went out on the town to ask New York singles what image they’re trying to project—then we asked nearby partyers to describe what they saw, and compared the results.
Single and selling it: Make your brand as distinctive as Apple's and as addictive as Starbucks'. New York ad execs tell you how.
Where the suckers woo: Every single guy should have a good advertising campaign. So we hired an ad exec to create one around our shy intern, Andrew Frisicano.
Cruise directory: Drinkeries where single "types" can get some.